IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph and chart below give information about species extinction and the threats to plant life

#information #species #extinction #threats #plant #life
The line graph illustrates the data about the number of species which
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 experienced extinction by today and will
extinct
Add a missing verb
be extinct
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 by 2100,
whereas
 the pie chart shows the major threatening factors to loss of flora.
Overall
, it is evident that it is predicted that there will be
upward
Add an article
an upward
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 trend in the extinction of animals by 2060 and it will experience a slight decrease until 2100.
Furthermore
, humans are predominantly responsible for the deterioration of plant life,
while
 nature accounts for
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
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 proportion. Looking into details, by the present time, the number of endangered animals has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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stood at 10000, which is predicted to reach 20000 in 2040 and peak at almost 45000 in 2060. Fortunately, animals and plants will experience a dramatic decrease to above 25000 in the number of
death
Fix the agreement mistake
deaths
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 by 2100. When it comes to the pie chart, human effect on biodiversity is almost four times as high as natural impacts. More than 80% of threats originate from different purposes in different
of
Change preposition
apply
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individuals,
such
 as harvesting, logging, and livestock with nearly 15%, 10% and 7%, respectively. Invasive species, disturbance and plantations are responsible for the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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 proportions with around 5%,
whereas
 10% belongs to development. Meanwhile, 7% and 11% of dangers to plant life come from natural disasters and other natural events, in turn.
Submitted by bhoswriting on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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