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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the projected costings over the next five years in American dollars for three environmental projects sustainable forestry. The pie chart shows the expected expenditure breakdown allocation for the first years as the projects are set up.

The table below shows the projected costings over the next five years in American dollars for three environmental projects sustainable forestry. The pie chart shows the expected expenditure breakdown allocation for the first years as the projects are set up.
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The given information represents expenditure projects for three environmental areas
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
,Central
America
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and South-east
show examples
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 over five years, the pie chart illustrates
breakdown
Correct article usage
the breakdown
show examples
 allocation for the first
year
Use synonyms
 as projected.
Overall
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will receive
Correct article usage
a risen
show examples
risen
Replace the word
rise
show examples
allocation
Change preposition
in allocation
show examples
while
Linking Words
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 will
have declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 Central
America
Use synonyms
 will spend
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 as
look
Correct subject-verb agreement
looks
show examples
 like
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
Use synonyms
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will have a good experience. Now,turning the details, in the first
year
Use synonyms
,.
Use synonyms
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will have
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
 budget
30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
million
Use synonyms
,following that Central
America
Use synonyms
 will have 20
million
Use synonyms
 and
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 will have
low
Add an article
a low
the low
show examples
 budget
like
Change preposition
of
show examples
 10.5
million
Use synonyms
.Meanwhile, as
second
Change the article
the second
show examples
year
Use synonyms
,results will gradually fall,funding for
Use synonyms
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will be 20
million
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 Central
America
Use synonyms
 will have 12
million
Use synonyms
Linking Words
while
Correct word choice
and
show examples
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 allocation will have
droped
Correct your spelling
dropped
 to 7.5
million
Use synonyms
.It is apparently seen, by
Correct article usage
the third
show examples
third
Add a hyphen
third-year
show examples
year
Use synonyms
South -east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will have risen 40
millon
Correct your spelling
million
next
West
Use synonyms
Africa
Use synonyms
 will have declined
2.5
Change preposition
by 2.5
show examples
.Meanwhile,Central
America
Use synonyms
 will have
dramatic
Correct article usage
a dramatic
show examples
 downward from 12 to 5.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,only
Use synonyms
South-east
Correct your spelling
Southeast
show examples
Asia
Use synonyms
 will pretty
results
Correct subject-verb agreement
result
show examples
 from 30
million
Use synonyms
 to 50
million
Use synonyms
. As can be seen from the pie chart,expenditure will be projected 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to set-up costs wherever salaries will be 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
Accordingly
Linking Words
,training and office expenses
wii
Correct your spelling
will
 both be funded at 10 per cent.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words west, africa, america, south-east, asia, year, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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