Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

A group of individuals
presents
Correct subject-verb agreement
present
show examples
the view that
children
should be involved in making school
rules
,
whereas
others believe that
adults
should be in charge of making
rules
. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that involving
children
in making school
rules
promotes a sense of responsibility and accountability among
students
. When
children
are part of the decision-making process, they are more likely to understand and respect the
rules
. They
also
present the sound argument that
such
involvement encourages active participation and engagement in school life. By involving
children
, schools can ensure that the
rules
are relevant and reflective of
students
' needs and experiences.
On the other hand
, another group of people claim that
adults
have more experience and are better at understanding the long-term implications of
rules
. They insist that having
adults
in charge ensures consistent and professionally considered regulations.
However
, I do not find
this
argument convincing as it overlooks the importance of
students
' perspectives.
Adults
may prevent
rules
from becoming overly lenient or biased towards student interests, but without student input, the
rules
may not address the real issues faced by
students
daily.
To conclude
, in my view, involving
children
in the rule-making process in schools is crucial. It not only promotes responsibility and engagement among
students
but
also
ensures that the
rules
are relevant and reflective of their experiences.
Moreover
,
while
adults
provide valuable expertise and consistency, excluding
students
from the process overlooks their unique insights and needs.
Submitted by www.prnmmdn on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Try to incorporate more specific examples to strengthen your points.
logical structure
While the essay is coherent, you could enhance cohesion by using more linking words.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and a well-rounded conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Main points are clear and well-developed, showing clear comprehension of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • responsibility
  • accountability
  • engagement
  • relevant
  • reflective
  • critical thinking
  • decision-making
  • experience
  • long-term implications
  • consistent
  • professionally considered
  • lenient
  • biased
  • discipline
  • order
What to do next:
Look at other essays: