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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbian island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbian island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbian #island
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this
Linking Words
 line graph depicts the number of
tourist
Fix the agreement mistake
tourists
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 in millions visiting a specific
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
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 island in the years between 2010 and 2017. It is clear from the graph that the number of
visitors
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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increased, beginning from 1 at least and going up to 1.5 and more in the period of 7 years.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown in spite of
Visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on the island
was
Verb problem
apply
show examples
fluctuated
Replace the word
fluctuating
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,
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on cruise ships chart
as well as
Linking Words
 the Total chart were similar to each other,
however
Linking Words
 as the Total rose
start
Wrong verb form
started
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 from 1 and continued
dramatically
Fix the infinitive
to dramatically
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 soar in the period between 2012 and 2014, until reach 3.5 million of
visitors
Use synonyms
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
Visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on island rate was like wave with gradually rose in 2011 to 2016, slightly declined in 2016.
To sum up
Linking Words
 I should analyse the
last
Linking Words
 one which is, the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
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 staying on cruise ships ,
hug
Correct your spelling
huge
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 change between 2013 and 2017
that is
Linking Words
 was after a slowly decreased in 2012 , to reach 2 million in the end.
Submitted by reem2006303 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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