IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Individual can do nothing to improve the environment; only government and large companies can make a difference. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#environment #government #companies #difference
These days, Climate change issue has become a crucial aspect of society. Some
people
 claim that there is a hope to improve the environment;
moreover
, authors and enterprises are the subjects that should be responsible.
However
, I firmly disagree with
this
 statement and
this
 essay will try to examine the reasons.
To begin
 with,
although
 governments and tremendous
companies
 play a vital role in maintaining environmental sustainability, inhabitants should be involved in
this
 trend. There are many regulations and campaigns that have been made by the authors but they still do not give any improvement because
people
 do not obey them.
For instance
, in Indonesia, there are plenty number of campaigns that can influence
people
 to reduce plastic usage.
However
,
people
 still use plastic in many parts of their activities,
such
 as using cloth bags
instead
 of plastic bags when they are shopping. Obviously, there are numerous
people
 who still are not aware of the environment.
Furthermore
, many large
companies
 do not obey the regulations. Nowadays,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments have a high focus on product packages,
therefore
, they should use eco-friendly materials in their products, particularly the packages. Despite many strict regulations with fines, there are many
companies
 that avoid making it happen
due to
 it will be increased cost of production. Eventually,
people
 should play their role by avoiding buying their products and boycotting them. So, it will affect their profit and tend to obey the governments.
To sum up
, it is true that the government and larger
companies
 should take action to improve the environment.
However
, the community should be involved in
this
 trend in order to
public
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
influence the realization of campaigns and drive enterprises to obey the regulation.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the prompt in the introduction to make your position clear from the beginning. While your stance is evident, explicitly stating it improves clarity.
coherence and cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of linking words to smoothly transition between ideas.
task achievement
Including more specific examples and personal anecdotes could strengthen your arguments and provide more compelling evidence for your viewpoints.
task achievement
Your essay discusses both sides of the argument thoughtfully, acknowledging the importance of governments and large companies while emphasizing individual responsibilities.
coherence and cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is commendable. Your ideas follow a clear, logical sequence from introduction to conclusion, which makes your argumentation stronger.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reaffirms your stance, demonstrating good task achievement.
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