Technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, using networks of security cameras and monitoring on line conversation) In many cases, the people being monitoring are unaware that this is happening Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

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Over the past couple of decades, technology has progressed astronomically. New inventions including spyware and communications have allowed the monitoring of the general public without their awareness. There are numerous advantages of blanket monitoring
such
as the foiling of terrorist attacks or finding criminals, but is
this
at the expense of freedom? Privacy is a basic human right. To be able to live without being under the watchful eye of Big Brother is the true definition of freedom. Being monitored 24/7 is a major disadvantage,
due to
violations it imposes. Imagine a situation in which the government sells private data
such
as video or audio recordings to the highest bidder. These can
then
be placed into a database for access to those who pay.
This
can lead to a number of violations.
For instance
, employers may look into prospective employees, allowing them to discriminate based on political views or sexual orientation; information which should be protected by the Data Protection Act. The advantages,
however
, are obvious. Disasters
such
as 9/11 could have been avoided if the relevant authorities received the intelligence beforehand. Not only large-scale terror but
also
local crimes,
for example
, grand theft auto or murder. Those who agree with
this
usually argue that if you do not have anything to hide, you should be okay with living under the watchful eye. My opinion is that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. The sanctity of human rights should be respected and future generations must work hard to ensure it is maintained despite the flourishing technological advancements.
Submitted by patelmeera on

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task achievement
To make your essay even stronger, you could provide more specific examples and details to back up your points. This shows a deeper understanding and gives your arguments more weight.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are clear and logically organized, ensure each paragraph is focused on a single idea with clear topic sentences to improve readers' understanding even more.
task achievement
The introduction is engaging and effectively sets the stage for your argument, showing a clear understanding of the prompt.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and provides a clear stance on the issue, which strengthens your overall argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow throughout, making it easy to follow your line of reasoning.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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