Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters(such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both views
A group of people believe that letting children choose what they want in something that they want like clothes, food and having fun would improve their selfishness.
On the contrary
, others think that it is essential to have the right to make decisions in childhood because of its effects. In my opinion, a child needs freedom in the way of living and sharing its tastes like another human being in everyday matters.
Children who can make a decision about their needs are more confident. Linking Words
Although
parents have to lead and guide them to make a reasonable choice, they should teach youth the importance of having confidence and telling their own ideas Linking Words
instead
of being quiet and obedient. If we do not give Linking Words
this
opportunity to a child to say her/his opinion, it would make him/her a potential victim of bullying in the near future. Linking Words
For instance
, pupils who are more free to say their thoughts about what they want experience less bullying than those who are shy and raised by the method of obeying parents in order to what they wear or eat.
Another reason for Linking Words
this
mindset is achieving a more democratic and equal society by teaching children to have their own choices in everyday matters. The young generation are the next citizens who can defend their rights in future if they see how they can do it from the early beginning. When they are allowed to be treated as a person respectfully in their preferences and what they want, it can not only improve their sense of identity but Linking Words
also
eradicate any possibility of being a deactivated individual. We are witnessing the impact of these little activities in recent changes in political aspects and societies which have been done by recent generations Linking Words
for example
[in Iran]. Through Linking Words
this
, the world may be obviously healthier and a better place for humankind to live freely with less oppression.
In conclusion, having the Right of choice in childhood about what they want as a hobby, clothes or food is a vital part of nurturing. Linking Words
This
is a real protection to defend themselves from bullying in school and Linking Words
also
as a civilized person against any dictatorial behaviour or policyLinking Words
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
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Introduction Development
Try to further develop your introduction by providing a clearer outline of the points you will discuss. This helps in setting an expectation for the reader.
Coherence
To enhance coherence, ensure to use a variety of linking words and phrases effectively. While your essay shows a good degree of cohesion, varying your linking language can make the connections between your ideas even stronger.
Vocabulary Enhancement
Incorporate more varied and precise vocabulary specific to the topic at hand. This will help in demonstrating a wider range of language and can contribute to a higher score in Lexical Resource.
Example Relevance
Although using examples, like the situation in Iran, can support your arguments, always clarify how these examples specifically relate back to your main point to ensure your examples clearly support your argument.
Task Response
Your essay effectively discusses both views and provides a clear personal opinion, showcasing strong task achievement.
Logical Structure
You've exhibited good logical structure, organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each addressing a specific aspect of the topic.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay, reinforcing your personal stance and the importance of the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?