In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

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The issue of coverage of

sports

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

is a ubiquitous debate in the society. Some

people

Use synonyms

argue that the coverage of

sports

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

discourages young

people

Use synonyms

from participating in any

sports

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, some argue that it will increase

participation

Correct article usage

the participation

show examples

of young

people

Use synonyms

in any

sports

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This

Linking Words

essay delves into both perspectives and personal beliefs about them. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

television

Use synonyms

shows make

people

Use synonyms

become

Verb problem

apply

show examples

lazy.

Television

Use synonyms

attracts audiences to stare

Change preposition

show examples

the screen for some moments.

People

Use synonyms

will tend to watch

television

Use synonyms

rather than

being

Wrong verb form

show examples

engaged in physical activities

such

Linking Words

as exercising, walking around on foot, and running. It will

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

a perception that watching

television

Use synonyms

is already enough for doing exercise.

Additionally

Linking Words

, watching

television

Use synonyms

is a lack of movement activity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that watching

sports

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

can shape the perspectives of the audience. It can turn some athletes into idols for the younger generation.

For instance

Linking Words

, Olympic champions Greysia Polii and Apriyani Rahayu,

who

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

won the gold medal in the women's doubles sector of badminton at the Tokyo Olympics 2020. The impact of having

athelets

Correct your spelling

athletes

into

Change preposition

show examples

idols is

where

Correct word choice

that

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

arena

Fix the agreement mistake

arenas

show examples

are being fully booked by young

people

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. They are attracted by athletes who won

olympic

Change the capitalization

Olympic

show examples

gold

medal

Fix the agreement mistake

medals

show examples

This

Linking Words

means

sports

Use synonyms

channel

Fix the agreement mistake

channels

show examples

television

Use synonyms

effectively persuade young

people

Use synonyms

to do any

sports

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. In conclusion,

while

Linking Words

some

people

Use synonyms

argue that

television

Use synonyms

shows can make some individuals become lazy, it is essential

for considering

Change preposition

to consider

show examples

that

sports

Use synonyms

television

Use synonyms

shows are

also

Linking Words

persuading the youth to participate in any

sports

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, audiences need to be wise

while

Linking Words

watching

television

Use synonyms

. They can do some

pureposeful

Correct your spelling

purposeful

physical activity

instead

Linking Words

of watching

television

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

also

Linking Words

being inspired by athletes featured on

television

Use synonyms

ru.kabiru.biruFri Apr 05 2024

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Coherence

Keep paragraphs well-organized by introducing, developing, and concluding ideas clearly within each one. This helps maintain coherence throughout your essay.

Cohesion

Using a variety of sentence structures and transitions can enhance the cohesion and flow of your essay.

Task Response

Ensure every paragraph directly contributes to addressing the essay question. This will keep your essay focused on the task.

Example Usage

Including more varied and specific examples can strengthen your arguments and make your writing more convincing.

Task Response

You've effectively introduced the topic, discussed both views, and provided your own opinion, which is great for task response.

Example Usage

You provided clear and relevant examples, like the Olympic champions Greysia Polii and Apriyani Rahayu, which made your arguments stronger.

Coherence

Your essay has a logical structure and clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion, supporting coherence within your writing.

Argument Engagement

You've done a great job discussing different perspectives before concluding with your own opinion, showing your ability to engage with complex ideas.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Continuous coverage
Discourage
Participation
Televised sports
Professional athletes
Intimidate
Motivate
Sedentary lifestyle
Spectator
Inspire
Educate
Visibility
Idols
Emulate
Personal triumph
Accessible
Facilities
Programs

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In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

In some cities public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disavantages

Global warming is one of the biggest threats humans are facing in the 21st century and sea level is continuing to rise at alarming rates. What are the causes and some possible solutions to global warming?

Some students take one year off between finishing school and going to university, in order to travel or to work. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs ( for example, working for a charity , improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The natural resources such as oil, forest, and freshwater are being consumed at an alarming rate. What problems doeas it cause? How can we solve these problems?