In many parts of the world there is continuous coverage of sports on television. Some believe this discourages the young from taking part in any sports themselves. Discuss the view and give your own opinion.
The issue of coverage of
sports
on television
is a ubiquitous debate in the society. Some people
argue that the coverage of sports
on television
discourages young people
from participating in any sports
. Conversely
, some argue that it will increase participation
of young Correct article usage
the participation
people
in any sports
. This
essay delves into both perspectives and personal beliefs about them.
On one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
the
Correct article usage
apply
television
shows make people
become
lazy. Verb problem
apply
Television
attracts audiences to stare on
the screen for some moments. Change preposition
at
People
will tend to watch television
rather than being
engaged in physical activities Wrong verb form
be
such
as exercising, walking around on foot, and running. It will make
a perception that watching Verb problem
create
television
is already enough for doing exercise. Additionally
, watching television
is a lack of movement activity.
On the other hand
, some people
believe that watching sports
on television
can shape the perspectives of the audience. It can turn some athletes into idols for the younger generation. For instance
, Olympic champions Greysia Polii and Apriyani Rahayu, who
won the gold medal in the women's doubles sector of badminton at the Tokyo Olympics 2020. The impact of having Correct pronoun usage
apply
athelets
Correct your spelling
athletes
into
idols is Change preposition
as
where
Correct word choice
that
sports
arena
are being fully booked by young Fix the agreement mistake
arenas
people
. They are attracted by athletes who won olympic
gold Change the capitalization
Olympic
medal
. Fix the agreement mistake
medals
This
means sports
channel
on Fix the agreement mistake
channels
television
effectively persuade young people
to do any sports
.
In conclusion, while
some people
argue that television
shows can make some individuals become lazy, it is essential for considering
that Change preposition
to consider
sports
television
shows are also
persuading the youth to participate in any sports
. Therefore
, audiences need to be wise while
watching television
. They can do some pureposeful
physical activity Correct your spelling
purposeful
instead
of watching television
, while
also
being inspired by athletes featured on television
.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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Coherence
Keep paragraphs well-organized by introducing, developing, and concluding ideas clearly within each one. This helps maintain coherence throughout your essay.
Cohesion
Using a variety of sentence structures and transitions can enhance the cohesion and flow of your essay.
Task Response
Ensure every paragraph directly contributes to addressing the essay question. This will keep your essay focused on the task.
Example Usage
Including more varied and specific examples can strengthen your arguments and make your writing more convincing.
Task Response
You've effectively introduced the topic, discussed both views, and provided your own opinion, which is great for task response.
Example Usage
You provided clear and relevant examples, like the Olympic champions Greysia Polii and Apriyani Rahayu, which made your arguments stronger.
Coherence
Your essay has a logical structure and clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion, supporting coherence within your writing.
Argument Engagement
You've done a great job discussing different perspectives before concluding with your own opinion, showing your ability to engage with complex ideas.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?