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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Modern technology has made it easier for individuals to download copyrighted music and books from the internet for no charge. To what extent is this a positive or a negative development?

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It is evident that progressing technology has had a significant role in facilitating the process of downloading suites or
books
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 from the
internet
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 for free. There remains some disagreement as to whether it should be considered as an approving or disapproving development.
While
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 there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary, in
this
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 essay I would contend that implementing
this
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 policy would be accompanied by human advancements and environmental improvements. The reasons for
this
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 are as follows. First and foremost, inadequate salaries and unaffordable expenses of life, particularly in developing countries have forced individuals to seek copyrighted music and
books
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.
According to
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 the statistics,
due to
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 an increase in the price of paper in 2022, the cost of printed
books
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 has soared by up to 30% from 2022 to 2023.
Thus
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, rather than spending a fortune on purchasing
books
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 , especially for school and university students, downloading them from the
internet
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 seems more logical. Yet, perhaps the strongest argument in favour of
this
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 issue is the fact that downloading copyrighted
books
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 and music could be accounted as an environmentally friendly move.
For instance
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, in 2023 availability of more
books
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 on the
internet
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 resulted in a 10% decrease in
cut down
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cut-down
show examples
 trees.
Otherwise
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, having utilized timbers in order to produce paper would lead to irreparable ecological consequences. Admittedly, supporting the producers financially by governments and taking measures to prevent any abuse by the police could play a significant role in continuing
this
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 trend. By way of conclusion, I once again reaffirm my position that downloading suites or
books
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 from the
internet
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 for free could have a significant role in the betterment of both society and the environment.

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task achievement
Work on enhancing your argument's depth by providing more varied and detailed examples or evidence. While the examples given are sufficient, more diversity in your examples would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to enhance the clarity and flow of your essay. This will make your argument more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to explicitly address the task prompt in your introduction and conclusion, making your stance clear from the beginning and reaffirming it at the end. This ensures the reader is fully aware of your position throughout.
coherence cohesion
Avoid spelling and grammatical errors to present a more polished and professional piece. Even minor errors can distract from the clarity and strength of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the topic and your position, providing a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical flow of your argument from paragraph to paragraph assists in keeping the reader engaged and makes your reasoning clear.
task achievement
You presented relevant, specific examples to support your viewpoints, which enhances the persuasive quality of your essay.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes your argument and reinforces your stance, making for a resonant closing statement.
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