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Band 7

Over time, as children grow older, the relationship they have with their parents changes. In your opinion, what role should parents have in their adult children’s lives?

#time #children #relationship #parents #changes #role #adult #children’s #lives
As
children
 grow up, the relationships with their
parents
 change and could become stronger and based on trust or ,
on the contrary
, become distant. I believe that during adulthood,
parents
 should stay close to their
children
 but not invasive , in order to maintain good communication and to be relied on.
Parents
 have to build,
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the birth of their child, strong basics,
such
 as trust, pride, respect and love to make a balanced adult later.
For example
, studies show that
children
 whose
parents
 gave them a respectful and secure education are meant to be happy grown-up people.
Moreover
,
parents
 have to always stay close to their
children
 ;
For instance
, even if we are adults, we feel safer if we know that our
parents
 can hear our up or down moods or just can help us with a recipe. So, it encourages a strong and communication-based relationship between
parents
 and
children
, which is essential to be happy in life for both sides.
Parents
,
however
, have to respect the intimacy and the independence of their
children
. The aim of raising
children
 is to let them leave the nest and stay near them but not too close.
This
 could maintain trust and reciprocity in the relationship.
Otherwise
, if
this
 is not respected, it can damage the contact between both of them. As an aside,
children
 await autonomy, emancipation and living on their own to be happy in life . If
parents
 are too invasive,
children
 become distant and the link could be broken . To summarize, whilst
parents
 have to give love and respect to their
children
 to build a strong relationship, they
also
 have to not be too invasive in order to keep a strong link between both of them.
Submitted by leared on

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Coherence and Cohesion
A well-structured essay with a clear introduction and conclusion. To elevate your score further, consider enhancing the logical flow between paragraphs through more sophisticated transitional phrases.
Task Achievement
Your response effectively addresses the task, providing clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples. To aim for an even higher band, incorporate a wider range of examples that encompass diverse perspectives or situations.
Introduction and Conclusion
Strong introduction and conclusion which clearly outline your stance and summarize main points.
Examples
Effective use of examples to support your points, contributing to a complete and comprehensive response.
Balance and Depth of Discussion
Your essay maintains a good balance between expressing the importance of parental involvement and the necessity of respecting adult children's independence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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