Nowadays children are facing more pressure from academic social and commercial perspectives what are the causes and what measures should be taken to reduce these pressure
In
this
day and age, children
are more likely to face difficulties in some areas of life such
as academic, social or financial due to
several underestimated reasons, however
, solutions exist to solve these problems
I consider two factors to blame for why this
happens. The first reason is linked to parents who make youngsters oblige to fulfil their wishes such
as entering university or getting a good job although
some people are not enough to do them because of a lack of skills such
as attention, understanding, cognitive etc. For example
, university entrance exams such
as IELTS require a high level of listening, reading writing and speaking skills in English and some individuals can.not learn and understand them. Furthermore
, big companies also
demand workers with high qualities such
as cooperation, social and confidence to make the company more successful. Another contributing factor is rising prices which restrict the young generations' lives, for example
, some children
can not go out with their friends to relax and socialise because their families suffer from low income and they must spend money more carefully.
When it comes to social issues, it is a fact that if children
can not go to parks, cinemas or theatres with their schoolmates they would be unsocial because youngsters do not have a chance to make new friendships.
Nevertheless
, by taking some straightforward measures we can combat these issues. The solution should start with strengthening family bonds which will help youngsters reduce stress levels. For instance
, schools may make meetings with parents to talk about students
' education level and their other capabilities such
as chess, dance or music because some students
may have difficulties with lessons but have great art skills. In addition
, the government should give enough budget to students
under 18 to solve their minor commercial problems such
as resting or travel. In Azerbaijan, the government gives $500 per student monthly to buy their needs and it is confirmed that students
are more relaxed and successful in there than other countries.
To conclude
, there are several reasons why children
these days face pressure from various perspectives, one of them is the stress that results from schooling and the other reason is the outweighing responsibilities, moreover
, if the adults pay attention to this
problem and try to talk with their kids. They are more likely to avoid it.Submitted by znezerli209 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs are clearly linked with transitional phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of plural forms and articles for clarity.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively and provides relevant examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
The use of examples from international contexts, like Azerbaijan, strengthens your position.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the discussion, focusing on the causes and solutions of the children's pressures.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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