Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

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Opinions are divided on whether

parents

should teach young students how to behave in order to be good citizens in our society or

schools

should teach it. Both sides of opinions will be discussed in the essay, followed by my perspective on

this

question. Those who advocate

parents

should be responsible for educating their

children

may put forth the following argument. A family is the first place where a young kid observes behaviours and is told what are basics to be a polite individual.

This

is because

children

spend more time at their homes than in

schools

at younger ages, which results in

parents

having many opportunities to teach them one-on-one. Saying thank you to others,

for example

, is one thing that should be taught by

parents

even before

children

attend

kindergartens

Fix the agreement mistake

kindergarten

show examples

Therefore

Correct pronoun usage

there

show examples

is no doubt that

parents

play essential roles in guiding their offspring to be good individuals.

However

, those who think that it is better for

schools

to teach students how to behave can

also

justify their opinion. A school is the best place to teach inclusiveness, which is an imperative skill to be an excellent member

Change preposition

show examples

society. Evidence of

this

can be seen in the fact that students might socialise with classmates from different countries and have various family backgrounds at

schools

, which means that they are exposed to different thoughts and cultures. Through

this

process, young

children

would feel these differences are norms and respect them, cultivating a strong sense of inclusiveness in the community.

As a result

, they obtain the main skills to be an excellent citizen from their

schools

. In my opinion, parental education and

schools

supporting

Replace the word

support

show examples

at the same time is the best way to form a good citizen because it not only assists an individual's whole education but

also

builds a foundation for being a good member of society.

Submitted by cc on Tue Apr 23 2024

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Language Use

For even higher scores, try incorporating a wider variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated vocabulary. This can make your argument more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Task Achievement

To enhance your task achievement score, consider providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more persuasive and grounded.

Task Response

Maintain the balanced approach you've taken here, discussing both sides of the argument before presenting your own view. This demonstrates strong critical thinking and engagement with the topic.

Organization

Your essay effectively structures an introduction, a discussion of both viewpoints, and ends with a clear conclusion, showcasing a good command of essay structure.

Task Response

You have clearly managed to articulate both sides of the argument and have provided a reasoned personal perspective, aligning well with the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

309 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

"Some people believe that technology has made life easier, while others argue that it has complicated our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion."

Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Convenience foods will become increasingly prevalent and eventually replace traditional foods and preparatory methods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fresh water has become a global problem for the world. What are the causes of it? What measures government and individual should take to resolve the problem ? Give reasons and examples for your answer.