Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Museums
are international destinations that can be located in almost every town around the globe. Given this
, they can be in the form of an antique heritage site or a modern state of the art
building. Add a hyphen
state-of-the-art
Museums
can serve for a number of reasons, but it is largely attributed for
Change preposition
to
its
contribution to education and Correct pronoun usage
their
entertainment
.
Firstly
, museums
have the ability to showcase centuries of history in one setting. For example
, The Cradle of Human Kind
Museum offers educational programs about the evolution of human beings, which stretches over a thousand years. Fix the agreement mistake
Kinds
Additionaly
, Correct your spelling
Additionally
such
educational museums
can be extremely beneficial for learners who have learning disibilties
, given that almost all learning styles are met during Correct your spelling
disabilities
such
programs. As a result
, museums
have the ability to transform the learning experience for students and adults into a much more enjoyable experience.
Secondly
, museums
can be more than just a page from history,
but Remove the comma
apply
also
serve as entertainment
. For instance
, Space X Museum allows individuals to participate in gravity stimulation machines, that resembles
Correct subject-verb agreement
resemble
space walking
. Through these types of technological attractions, individuals can experience a glimpse Correct your spelling
spacewalking
what
the future has to offer; establishing an interest to contribute and Change preposition
of what
evolve
our planet. Wrong verb form
evolving
Hence
, museums
that offer entertainment
facilities can instil motivation for young children and even adults to go after their dreams.
In conclusion, the educational and entertainment
purposes of museums
both have strong support. Although
, if museums
put more emphasis on the sole purpose of educating poeple
, Correct your spelling
people
then
it will largely benefit future generations. Thus
, I feel that the main focus of museums
should be to educate people.Submitted by jessicajreichel on
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. While your essay does a good job, you could enhance clarity by explicitly stating the main idea at the beginning of paragraphs.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, consider offering more diversified examples or evidence to support your viewpoints, particularly in the discussion of educational purposes of museums.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but to enhance logical flow, you could use more diverse and explicit linking phrases between ideas within and across paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by acknowledging the global presence of museums and the debate at hand.
task achievement
You provide clear and specific examples, such as The Cradle of Human Kind Museum and Space X Museum, to support your points.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and states your own opinion, which is a strong finish for your essay.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?