Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#believe #purpose #museums #people

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Museums

Use synonyms

are international destinations that can be located in almost every town around the globe. Given

this

Linking Words

, they can be in the form of an antique heritage site or a modern

state of the art

Add a hyphen

state-of-the-art

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building.

Museums

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can serve for a number of reasons, but it is largely attributed

for

Change preposition

show examples

its

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

contribution to education and

entertainment

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

museums

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have the ability to showcase centuries of history in one setting.

For example

Linking Words

, The Cradle of Human

Kind

Fix the agreement mistake

Kinds

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Museum offers educational programs about the evolution of human beings, which stretches over a thousand years.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

such

Linking Words

educational

museums

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can be extremely beneficial for learners who have learning

disibilties

Correct your spelling

disabilities

, given that almost all learning styles are met during

such

Linking Words

programs.

As a result

Linking Words

museums

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have the ability to transform the learning experience for students and adults into a much more enjoyable experience.

Secondly

Linking Words

museums

Use synonyms

can be more than just a page from history

Remove the comma

apply

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but

also

Linking Words

serve as

entertainment

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For instance

Linking Words

, Space X Museum allows individuals to participate in gravity stimulation machines, that

resembles

Correct subject-verb agreement

resemble

show examples

space walking

Correct your spelling

spacewalking

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. Through these types of technological attractions, individuals can experience a glimpse

what

Change preposition

of what

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the future has to offer; establishing an interest to contribute and

evolve

Wrong verb form

evolving

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our planet.

Hence

Linking Words

museums

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that offer

entertainment

Use synonyms

facilities can instil motivation for young children and even adults to go after their dreams. In conclusion, the educational and

entertainment

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purposes of

museums

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both have strong support.

Although

Linking Words

, if

museums

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put more emphasis on the sole purpose of educating

poeple

Correct your spelling

people

then

Linking Words

it will largely benefit future generations.

Thus

Linking Words

, I feel that the main focus of

museums

Use synonyms

should be to educate people.

Submitted by jessicajreichel on Sat Apr 06 2024

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task achievement

Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant examples. While your essay does a good job, you could enhance clarity by explicitly stating the main idea at the beginning of paragraphs.

task achievement

To improve task achievement, consider offering more diversified examples or evidence to support your viewpoints, particularly in the discussion of educational purposes of museums.

coherence cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, but to enhance logical flow, you could use more diverse and explicit linking phrases between ideas within and across paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion by acknowledging the global presence of museums and the debate at hand.

task achievement

You provide clear and specific examples, such as The Cradle of Human Kind Museum and Space X Museum, to support your points.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your points and states your own opinion, which is a strong finish for your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some believe the primary purpose of museums is to entertain people, while others believe their purpose is to educate. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Nowadays, it is getting difficult for people to enjoy their lives in cities. Why do you think this is? What can the government do to make life in cities more enjoyable?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays, most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that It is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that exams are an unappropriate way of measuring students performance and should be replaced by continuous assessments. Do you agree or disagree?