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Writing Samples
Band 7

Universities and colleges are now offering qualifications through distance learning from the internet rather than teachers in the classroom. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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With an ever-increasing concern about online learning
programs
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 in educational
institutions
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, some individuals have opined that distance learning via the Internet has greater
advantages
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 than traditional classroom-based
programs
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.
This
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 essay will,
however
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, provide reasons why I strongly believe that the disadvantages outweigh the
advantages
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 of the given opinion.
To begin
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 with, some individuals argue that online learning
programs
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 will bring recognition for several reasons. From the perspective of educational
institutions
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, distance learning courses provide opportunities for a wider range of recruitment including those who might have financial, geographical and time constraints to attend classroom-based curriculum, which increases the number of enrollments that leads to making a profit for
institutions
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.
Furthermore
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, those educational
institutions
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 can financially benefit from the activated implementation of online courses
due to
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 the circumstances where it reduces the expenses associated with campus facilities and infrastructures for classroom-based
programs
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.
Moreover
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, online courses eliminate the necessity to commute to school and may require fewer resources for both
students
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 and instructors which brings
further
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 convenience. In spite of those reasons mentioned above, I completely contend that it has more disadvantages than
advantages
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 for
students
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. Providing a few agreements based on the previous arguments, moving to
students
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 can illuminate a different perspective.
First,
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online classes offer very minimal opportunities to engage and socialize with other peers and
this
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 intrudes
students
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 to learn social norms and values to be well-fitted members of society.
Second,
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distant learning
programs
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 heavily rely on technology, which can cause difficulties in learning
such
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 as disconnectedness of the internet, learning platform glitches and not functioning devices.
Thus
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, these challenges may weaken the motivation to learn from
students
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 and bring tiredness to instructors.
Furthermore
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, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between online learning
programs
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 and the financial benefits of educational
institutions
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. In conclusion, some individuals argue that there are more
advantages
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 to distance learning
programs
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 in educational
institutions
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.
Nevertheless
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, I firmly believe that more considerations of other parties' facing issues should be taken into account to achieve more sustainable
advantages
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.

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Specific Examples
Try to make your points more clear and comprehensive by providing more detailed examples and elaboration. This will help strengthen your argument and make your stance more convincing.
Coherence
Work on ensuring that all paragraphs are fully developed and connected logically. Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly to the next, guiding the reader through your argument effortlessly.
Introduction/Conclusion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, but make sure they fully encapsulate and tie back to the main points of your essay more clearly.
Logical Structure
Clear structure and organization are evident throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.
Task Achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses both the advantages and the disadvantages of the topic.
Introduction/Conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are well-defined and effectively frame the discussion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unparalleled flexibility
  • democratizes education
  • geographically isolated
  • personal circumstances
  • cost-effectiveness
  • accommodation
  • commuting
  • self-motivated learning
  • self-discipline
  • time management
  • direct interaction
  • feelings of isolation
  • quality and recognition
  • inferior
  • technical issues
  • digital divide
  • reliable technology
  • underprivileged
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