IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As people are becoming more self-centered today, we must learn kindness. What are the consequences of kindness. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary society, selfishness has become increasingly prominent. Some argue that
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is attributed to the lack of caring for others, which alleviates
kindness
Use synonyms
. It is my contention that kind-heartedness can improve mental health and promote adequate standards for future generations,
thus
Linking Words
 enhancing the quality of life for all.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one paramount benefit is the unparalleled convenience it offers
various
Change preposition
for various
show examples
 aspects of mental well-being.
For example
Linking Words
, psychologist Edwin Charles mentions that the brain releases large amounts of dopamine when showing
kindness
Use synonyms
, which in return stimulates one's brain to be happier.
Moreover
Linking Words
, almost 80% of suicides are caused by a lack of
kindness
Use synonyms
.
Thus
Linking Words
, without even knowing it, being friendly to a stranger can decrease depression and trauma for them.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that pure actions might both improve someone's own mentality and others.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is essential to underscore the impact that modern actions could have on humans in the foreseeable future. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, anthropologist Kathy Steward explains that 50% of an individual's actions are influenced by their parents. Given
this
Linking Words
, the concatenation of moral values and standards that are being taught to today's children could be learned by their offspring, which continues the cycle of rudeness; unless it is stopped and replaced with
kindness
Use synonyms
.
Hence
Linking Words
, humbleness can create a
beter
Correct your spelling
better
 life for future generations. In conclusion, it is notable that
kindness
Use synonyms
 can increase mental health and promote the quality of life. It is my opinion that if
kindness
Use synonyms
 is disseminated throughout the globe,
then
Linking Words
 the lives of all humans can benefit.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
To further enhance your essay, try to incorporate transitional phrases between your ideas more effectively. This will aid in the smooth flow and connection of your points, making your argument even more cohesive.
Task Achievement
When providing examples or citing research, ensure that the sources sound plausible and are integrated seamlessly into your argument. This strengthens your credibility and supports your points more convincingly.
Task Achievement
Your essay effectively addresses the topic, providing a clear opinion and well-developed arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-constructed, effectively framing your arguments.
Task Achievement
The use of specific examples and references, even if hypothetical, enrich your argument and make it more compelling.
Task Achievement
Your acknowledgment of the importance of kindness for mental health and future standards is insightful and adds depth to your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: