IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

the chart below shows the changes in three different areas of cime in manchester city center from 2003-2012.

the chart below shows the changes in three different areas of cime in manchester city center from 2003-2012.
#changes #three #areas #cime #manchester #city #center
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The chart below illustrates the popular types of
violation
Fix the agreement mistake
violations
show examples
happened
Correct pronoun usage
that happened
show examples
 in Manchester
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
of
Change preposition
over
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 the course of over a decade from 2003 until 2012.
In
Change preposition
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, burglary shows the highest rate of crimes in 2004.
However
Linking Words
, a
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
declined
Replace the word
decline
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happening
Wrong verb form
happened
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 in between the four
years
Use synonyms
 of
early
Change the article
the early
show examples
 2000s, which went from a little over 3,500 and
decreases
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 to 1,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, stealing cars
experiences
Wrong verb form
experienced
show examples
 little growth and shoplifting acts went down considerably. Breaking the law by burglary was a popular act especially in 2004, with around 3,800 thefts happening during
this
Linking Words
 period. Arguably, it somehow gradually decreased and had the highest drop between the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
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 2006 and 2007,
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the crimes remarkably
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
around
Change preposition
to around
show examples
 1,000
cases
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, car thefts started with just over 2,000
cases
Use synonyms
 in 2003 and
continually
Replace the word
continued
show examples
 to remain stable just below 2,500.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, an upward trend happened during the early
years
Use synonyms
 of
2010s
Change the article
the 2010s
show examples
 and went up to 2,700 compared to the past few
years
Use synonyms
.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the same trend happened to robbery in 2005, where it spiked by 500
cases
Use synonyms
 gaining nearly 1,000
cases
Use synonyms
.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, it dropped down and remained stable
to
Change preposition
at
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 around 500
cases
Use synonyms
 in the span of 5
years
Use synonyms
 from 2007 to 2012. In summary, burglary acts
happen
Wrong verb form
happened
show examples
 to be the most popular act of crime throughout the
years
Use synonyms
,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to car theft and robbery.
Submitted by jasminnalya on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, cases with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went down" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • significant
  • fluctuating
  • anomalies
  • external factors
  • economic fluctuation
  • law enforcement strategies
  • societal changes
  • speculation
  • impact
  • data collection
  • reliability
  • interpretation
  • measures
  • strategies
  • broader implications
  • development
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