Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these view and give your own opinion.
Some individuals advocate making scientific, business, and educational
information
widely available, while
others maintain that this
information
should remain secret because of its value or importance. Both schools have merits, but I believe sharing data freely will encourage a more synchronized world.
It is evident, on the one hand, that publishing research in these scientific fields could have a lot of benefits. Researchers in the academic and scientific fields have traditionally struggled to communicate with citizens due to
a lack of transportation and restrictions imposed by governments and religious organizations. Today, with the aid of social media, people are more aware of the state of the world. Therefore
, it contributes to technological advancements and synchronizes educational information
worldwide. As for business, it requires years of experience in order to succeed in this
field. As a result
, entrepreneurs rely heavily on the written work of previous successful businessmen in order to gain economic insight.
In contrast
, in the modern welfare system, maintaining an individual copyright plays a crucial role in maintaining a competitive environment. By being exposed to this
environment, one will be able to enhance their creativity and stimulate their desire to surpass others. For example
, restaurants that follow traditional recipes or scientists with innovative technologies will force other brands to create formulas of their own, resulting in the ultimate benefit to the consumer. As well, history and political national academic journals possess original characteristics that contribute to the development of a diverse society.
In conclusion, although
there are varying opinions on whether the public should have access to information
or whether it should be obligated to do so, I believe that information
concerning science, business, and education should be made available to the public on a global scale. International citizens need to be aware of technological developments or market share.Submitted by thanhannguyen2209 on
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Language Range
Consider varying your sentence structure more to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical structures, which can enhance the readability and sophistication of your essay.
Supporting Examples
While your argument is supported with examples, integrating more specific real-world examples could further strengthen your position and add depth to your discussion.
Coherence
To further enhance coherence, try explicitly linking your paragraphs with more transitional phrases that reflect the progression of your argument.
Conclusion Clarity
Ensure your concluding paragraph not only summarizes your key points but also more distinctly states your personal stance, giving your essay a strong, clear ending.
Task Achievement
You've successfully discussed both views and provided a clear personal opinion, which meets the task requirements well.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good degree of coherence and cohesion, with a logical flow of ideas that is easy to follow.
Use of Examples
The use of relevant examples to support your points is commendable, providing a strong foundation for your argument.
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