Write about the following topics In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments, Other people think there are benefits If society has more elderly people, To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In my personal opinion,
Correct article usage
the aging
aging
population indeed creates problems for governments, and I will express my perspectives in the following paragraph.
First of all, speaking logically, the longer Change the spelling
ageing
human
can live, the more pressure Fix the agreement mistake
humans
younger
generation Correct article usage
the younger
are
facing. As humans get older, we Correct subject-verb agreement
is
are
gradually Verb problem
apply
losing
our functionalities in Wrong verb form
lose
overall
subjects, Linking Words
for instance
, we lose our muscles, Linking Words
sights
, Fix the agreement mistake
sight
memory
, Correct word choice
and memory
even
our brain starts shutting down. Correct word choice
and even
This
change is inevitable, and so elders Linking Words
turns
to rely on younger generations to take up the responsibilities.
It shouldn’t cause any problem when the numbers in different age intervals remain relatively stable, but Change the verb form
turn
this
case is different. As Linking Words
elder
populations Replace the word
elderly
continues
to grow Change the verb form
continue
while
Linking Words
birth
rate keeps dropping every year, Correct article usage
the birth
it is clear that
the future generations with less population will have to carry several times of pressure that we now have.
Speaking Linking Words
in
personal experience, my parents are now taking care of respectively their Change preposition
from
parent
, which is in total of 4. Fix the agreement mistake
parents
However
, In the case when my parents retire and I have to start to work, I would Linking Words
Unnecessary verb
apply
be
need to cover Verb problem
apply
Change preposition
apply
up
the living cost of around 6 elders in my own family. You can see the pressures are already rising drastically as Change preposition
apply
Add an article
the elder
elder
population grows, Correct word choice
elderly
this
is where I would consider the disadvantages Linking Words
outweighs
the advantages.
Yet, when it comes to our relatives, problems are far more complicated than just problems. Correct subject-verb agreement
outweigh
Human
Fix the agreement mistake
Humans
purchases
longevity and we have always been trying to escape from death. Correct subject-verb agreement
purchase
Although
we understand there must be consequences, Linking Words
but
humans are too Remove the conjunction
apply
short sighted
that we conceive ourselves Add a hyphen
short-sighted
this
won’t come back to us so Linking Words
quick
. Looking at the Change the word
quickly
situations
nowadays, I believe it’s time to start reflecting on what can we do to save our future generations.Fix the agreement mistake
situation
Submitted by lil40629890 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Try to balance the discussion by providing not just the negatives but also exploring some potential benefits of an ageing population to provide a more balanced view.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work for small grammatical issues, as minor errors can slightly distract from the overall clarity of your argument.
Task Achievement
To enhance your essay, consider including more specific examples or data to support your arguments. Real-world examples or statistics can make your points more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
You've constructed a logical structure that guides the reader through your points effectively, maintaining a clear argument throughout.
Task Achievement
You've presented a clear opinion and provided relevant examples from personal experience, fulfilling the task requirements well.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.