IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

#people #experimentation #animals #discoveries #experiments #alternatives
In
this
 contemporary era, there has been a controversial debate about whether testing on
animals
 is cruel and unlawful.
This
 writer contends that animal experiments are necessary and humane,
however
, there is another viable option of testing on the genes of humans or
animals
. It is vital to acknowledge that experimenting on
animals
 is acceptable.
This
 is because scientists have invented a species that can not feel pain at all,
hence
, any testing even chemicals can not damage and hurt the test item.
As a result
, animal experiments are uncruel and can help
science
 improve at an incredible speed. Taking the guinea pig as a pertinent instance, an animal
that is
 identical to a mouse has been invented through mating between different species and genetic modification,
this
 species does not feel pain at all and has enormously contributed to
science
.
However
, other feasible alternatives can be attained
such
 as using human or animal genes in testing. With the development of
science
 and technology, the method of how extracting genes from the human body has soon been found by scientists, resulting in more effective options compared to animal experimentation.
Consequently
, with a small amount of gene extraction from volunteers, analysts can study how pharmaceuticals or chemicals affect our bodies. Taking a recent BBC news, after finding out about
this
 method, the
science
 of medication and health has boosted rapidly.
Thus
, it is a necessity to consider changing from animal experiments to
this
 undeniably superior method.
While
 experimentation on
animals
 is not inhumane and necessary for scientific improvement, switching to genetic research is a need.
Hence
, it should have been demonstrated that despite researching
animals
 to foster our knowledge being important, scientists should gradually replace it with other feasible options
such
 as genetic ones.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language
Trial to include a broader range of sentence structures to improve readability and sophistication of your writing.
Content
Consider presenting a more balanced view in some paragraphs to enhance the critical analysis of the topic.
Accuracy
Make sure to proofread your essay to catch and correct minor slips in grammar and vocabulary.
Introduction
Effective use of an introductory sentence setting the stage for the discussion.
Structure
Clear structure and paragraphing, aiding the coherence and flow of the essay.
Argumentation
Good task response with a clear position and reasoning throughout the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
What to do next:
Look at other essays: