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Band 6

As computers are being used more and more in education, there will soon be no role for the teacher in the classroom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#computers #education #role #teacher #classroom
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In the modern era, lots of technologies are used in many parts of human life. Especially in education, computers are being used more and more
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
, which will make the teacher’s role in the classroom unnecessary. In my point of view, I totally disagree with
this
 opinion. There are plenty of advantages to using computers for educational needs. First of all, lessons can be accessed more easily in many situations. Anybody, which
include
Correct subject-verb agreement
includes
show examples
students
 and
teachers
, can be able to join the class despite physical restrictions, and all they need is just a computer, or a phone which is connected to the internet.
Secondly
, there are lots of study materials
such
 as presentations, videos, and images that can be used to support the lectures, so it will be easier for
students
 to understand, which is not an easy task in a conventional classroom, which is conducted by a teacher.
However
, those
machines
 do not have abilities to handle the feelings of
students
, which is the key ability when dealing with kids or teenagers.
On the other hand
,
teachers
 are capable of understanding the feelings and they know how to help their
students
 to get over it.
Moreover
,
besides
 knowledge, there are some skills
such
 as carrying emotion, socializing,
leadership
Correct word choice
and leadership
show examples
 skill can be gained in class, and
machines
 cannot teach them how to develop these skills.
Therefore
,
teachers
 still have roles in classrooms as they can organize group activities, talk to their
students
, and manage the
machines
, which are important to help
students
 develop totally. In total,
machines
 play a necessary role in education, but the appearance of
teachers
 in classrooms is still essential.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
You've provided a clear stance on the topic, which is excellent. However, your arguments could benefit from deeper elaboration and more specific examples to support your points. Consider including real-world instances where teachers have positively influenced student outcomes despite the presence of technology.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, work on improving the logical flow between ideas. Sometimes, the transition between arguments can be smoother. For instance, the shift from the benefits of computers to the shortcomings could be more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and set the stage for your arguments effectively. This helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning and leaves them with a concise summary at the end.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt to balance both sides of the argument and provide reasons for your stance. Your ideas are mostly clear and comprehensive, which is crucial for Task Response.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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