Some people like to work in company which offer high salaries, other prefer working in a company which offer good working atmosphere. What do you think? Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
some people search for jobs with a high income, others choose to work in offices where colleagues treat friendly to each other. I am certainly in the same boat as the latter. In this
essay, I plan to explore both ideas and give my own points.
On the one hand, the higher salary the more skills and professional abilities are required from an employee. Additionally
, jobs in companies that offer attractive salaries are extremely competitive which means a vast number of experts applying to the same place. Obviously, this
can lead to stressful and tense situations for workers who become unfriendly and jealous of each other's achievements. For example
, at my previous job, the unsupportive climate and the constant pressure in which I worked caused a nervous breakdown and I was forced to leave that job.
On the other hand
, when a person gets support from colleagues he is encouraged to work harder and with more enthusiasm. No doubt, any individual can enjoy what he does during the working day due to
the healthy aura there. For instance
, I experienced this
situation, and I can say that it was the happiest time in my life despite the insufficient income, and I still remember those times with nostalgia.
In conclusion, although
an attractive job position with a competitive income leads to financial stability and freedom, I still believe that a person's health and inner well-being are crucial. If everyone aimed to get more money, there would less happy human beings in the world.Submitted by ruben.kirakosyan on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a clear and logical structure, allowing readers to follow your argument with ease. For even better coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
While your essay does a great job in discussing both views and providing specific examples, enhancing the depth of your discussion by incorporating a wider range of arguments and counterarguments could provide a more balanced view. This could further improve the Task Achievement score.
Task Achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your perspective, reflecting a good level of task achievement. To further enhance it, directly reference how your discussion supports your final stance.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully discusses both sides of the argument, offering a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
Task Achievement
Your use of examples to support your points, especially personal anecdotes, makes your essay engaging and persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and well-formulated, bookending your essay effectively and reaffirming your stance.