Government investment in the art such as music, theater, is a waste of money. government must invest money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Some people believe that authorities should spend
money
on public services instead
of the arts
. I disagree with this
statement because arts
contribute to cultural preservation and enrichment.
To commence with, arts
generate economic that benefits the government. This
means that,
Remove the comma
apply
arts
such
as music and ancient buildings are great attractions for tourists. Cultural tourism can be a significant source of revenue, and governments that fund the arts
may see a direct return on investment through increased tourism and job creation in arts
-related sectors. For example
, the Indian government invest a large amount of money
in the Taj Mahal, which is the most famous tourist attraction in India and it generates a high amount of money
as well as
employment every year.Thus
, investing in arts
not only preserves national heritage but also
fosters creativity which can be valuable assist for innovation in various sectors.
On the other hand
, focusing on public services such
as healthcare, education, and infrastructure can have a more immediate impact on citizens' quality of life. While
the arts
are important, the argument here is that they should be funded privately or through patronage rather than through public funds. For instance
, during the year 2014, an art exhibition was held in Mumbai which crossed a revenue of 1 crore because of its originality and money
were
given to rehabilitation houses for women. Correct subject-verb agreement
was
This
was reported by the media several years later.
To conclude
,Government spending on the arts
can also
be seen as a way to promote social cohesion and community participation. Public art projects and community theatre can bring people together and provide a sense of belonging, which can be particularly valuable in diverse and multicultural societies.Submitted by komalpreetcheema07 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, but the introduction could be more elaborate in presenting the thesis statement. Try to explicitly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are connected smoothly. Some of your points feel a bit disjointed, especially when transitioning between paragraphs.
task achievement
While you provided relevant examples, some of the ideas could be expanded further to make your arguments stronger. For example, detailing how arts contribute to creativity and innovation would enhance the essay.
language accuracy
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved. For instance, 'arts generate economic' should be 'arts generate economic benefits'. Consider proofreading your essay for grammar and clarity.
task achievement
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance on the topic.
task achievement
You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a good logical structure with clear paragraphs for each main point.
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