Government investment in the art such as music, theater, is a waste of money. government must invest money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people believe that authorities should spend

money

Use synonyms

on public services

instead

Linking Words

of the

arts

Use synonyms

. I disagree with

this

Linking Words

statement because

arts

Use synonyms

contribute to cultural preservation and enrichment. To commence with,

arts

Use synonyms

generate economic that benefits the government.

This

Linking Words

means that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

arts

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as music and ancient buildings are great attractions for tourists. Cultural tourism can be a significant source of revenue, and governments that fund the

arts

Use synonyms

may see a direct return on investment through increased tourism and job creation in

arts

Use synonyms

-related sectors.

For example

Linking Words

, the Indian government invest a large amount of

money

Use synonyms

in the Taj Mahal, which is the most famous tourist attraction in India and it generates a high amount of

money

Use synonyms

as well as

Linking Words

employment every year.

Thus

Linking Words

, investing in

arts

Use synonyms

not only preserves national heritage but

also

Linking Words

fosters creativity which can be valuable assist for innovation in various sectors.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, focusing on public services

such

Linking Words

as healthcare, education, and infrastructure can have a more immediate impact on citizens' quality of life.

While

Linking Words

the

arts

Use synonyms

are important, the argument here is that they should be funded privately or through patronage rather than through public funds.

For instance

Linking Words

, during the year 2014, an art exhibition was held in Mumbai which crossed a revenue of 1 crore because of its originality and

money

Use synonyms

were

Correct subject-verb agreement

was

show examples

given to rehabilitation houses for women.

This

Linking Words

was reported by the media several years later.

To conclude

Linking Words

,Government spending on the

arts

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

be seen as a way to promote social cohesion and community participation. Public art projects and community theatre can bring people together and provide a sense of belonging, which can be particularly valuable in diverse and multicultural societies.

komalpreetcheema07Fri Jul 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, but the introduction could be more elaborate in presenting the thesis statement. Try to explicitly outline the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that your ideas are connected smoothly. Some of your points feel a bit disjointed, especially when transitioning between paragraphs.

task achievement

While you provided relevant examples, some of the ideas could be expanded further to make your arguments stronger. For example, detailing how arts contribute to creativity and innovation would enhance the essay.

language accuracy

There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that could be improved. For instance, 'arts generate economic' should be 'arts generate economic benefits'. Consider proofreading your essay for grammar and clarity.

task achievement

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your stance on the topic.

task achievement

You used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a good logical structure with clear paragraphs for each main point.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

cultural preservation
heritage
fosters creativity
cultural tourism
return on investment
job creation
public services
quality of life
privately funded
patronage
social cohesion
community participation
public art projects
multicultural societies

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Children are influenced by their friend’s opinions. In what ways are children affected by their friends? How can parents make sure this influence is positive?
Nowadays, many children are influenced by their friends’ opinions due to most of their activities happening in school. Hence, in this essay, I will discuss some activities that are affected by their friends and what measures can be taken by parents to ensure that it will bring positive outcomes.
8
band
Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th
Few persons are of the opinion that education starting from kindergarten till the highest level is largely based on rote learning and is devoid of useful hands-on experience . I ,openly ,affirm this notion an education lacking real-life experiences is known to cause more harm than good as without professional individuals a country cannot be a prosperous one for the following reasons .
6.5
band
In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?
Nowadays, people in several countries think that parents have an option to send their children to single-sex schools or co-educational schools. However, some people do not want to register their children to single-sex schools to prevent the drawbacks later in life. Personally, I agree that children should know well the opposite sex. It is because naturally there is a different character between a girl and a boy, and for that, we need to explore each other. In addition, it is to prevent sexual harassment.
8
band
Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter, •suggest how you could help her in her home •say why you would like to do this work •explain when you will and will not be available
I am writing to you in regard to your requirement for a helping hand around your house during the summer.
7
band
The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
The population is divided in two, some people mainly the elderly, think that we should behave in a traditional manner and others think that it would be not helpful to prepare the next generation for the future. This essay totally agrees with the idea that we should live, think and behave in a traditional way. I believe that parents should educate their children a bit the hard way on different points. Also in traditional education, there is generally the religion that is also important.

Government investment in the art such as music, theater, is a waste of money. government must invest money in public service instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Children are influenced by their friend’s opinions. In what ways are children affected by their friends? How can parents make sure this influence is positive?

Some people say that at all levels of education, from primary school to university, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree? Read my sample answer here. Reported on IELTS October 5th

In many countries today, parents are able to choose to send their children to single sex schools or co-educational schools. Some people think that children going to single –sex schools have disadvantages later in life. To what extent do you agree?

The older generations tend to have very traditional ideas about how people should live, think and behave. However, some people believe that these ideas are not helpful in preparing younger generations for modern life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?