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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

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In many nations, a lot of
people
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 are curious about the
story
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 of the
house
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 or building that they occupy. So
this
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 essay will discuss the reasons and the ways
people
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 can explore that
information
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.   Generally,
people
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 are curious because they want to make essential decisions. If the
house
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 was constructed with materials that do not suit them,
then
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 it will require a re-build or renovation. To illustrate, the
house
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 was built with raw materials, so the new residents have a tendency to demolish it in order to make a strong building.
In addition
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, perhaps
people
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 want to know about its
story
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, whether it was a scary building or not. If they are not, individuals will continue the agreement, but if they are, they are probably cancelling the contract.
For instance
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, 'The Potato
House
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' in Bandung has not been sold out
due to
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 its underlying horror
story
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.
As a consequence
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, that
house
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 is abandoned, and no one is interested in it.   There is one way to explore
this
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 kind of
information
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: either by asking the experts, in
this
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case
Add the comma(s)
case,
show examples
 physical engineering and architects, or just simply asking the previous
house
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 owners for
further
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 inquiries. The owners will kindly answer
such
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information
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; despite the fact that their knowledge is not as extensive as that of the experts, at least it will help
people
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 get an illustration of their future
house
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 or buildings. To illustrate,
people
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 normally ask when the
last
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 time those buildings were renovated was. If
people
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 get
this
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information
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, it will provide assistance to the residents.   In summary, the
story
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 of the
house
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 or building is amusing for its residents. The reasons are to help
people
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 make pivotal decisions and,
besides
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, to determine whether the building is scary or not. In terms of searching for that
information
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,
people
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 can simply ask the previous owner or ask the experts.

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Expansion of Ideas
Try to expand on your examples with specific details to illustrate your points more vividly.
Use of Linking Words
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Structure Clarity
Ensure a clear distinction between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion for a more structured response.
Deeper Analysis
While you covered the topic well, aim to delve deeper into the questions posed with more detailed analysis and varied examples.
Effective Communication
You effectively communicated the reasons why people might be interested in the history of their homes.
Clear Structure
Your essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion is clear.
Summarizing Conclusion
Providing a summary in your conclusion helps reinforce your main points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
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