In many countries today the retirement age from work has been raised. Do the advantages of raising the retirement age outweigh the disadvantages?
Many countries have prolongued the time people have to work until
retirement
. Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
this
shift presents both advantages and disadvantages, the benefits often outweigh the drawbacks.
One of the primary advantages of increasing the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
is the alleviation of financial strain on Use synonyms
pension
Use synonyms
systems
. As life expectancy rises in more economicly stable countries, the population is aging, which means more people are relying on pensions for longer periods of treir life. By extending the working Use synonyms
age
, governments can reduce the burden on these Use synonyms
systems
, ensuring they remain sustainable for future generations. Use synonyms
Additionally
, older Linking Words
workers
bring valuable experience and knowledge, which can enhance productivity and mentoring at their workplace.
Another cause would be the poor economic sistems in some countries, as an example I have Moldova, in which the Use synonyms
pension
monthly allocation is often minimal for many of the eldely citizens. Giving them the oportunity to work untill later ages helps them sustain a better lifestyle, Use synonyms
while
taking pressure away from the Linking Words
pension
sistem.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, critics argue that raising the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
can disadvantage younger Use synonyms
workers
and those in physically demanding jobs. Many older employees may struggle to meet the demands of their roles, leading to increased stress and health issues. Use synonyms
However
, these concerns can be mitigated through policies that promote flexible work schedule and retraining programs, allowing older Linking Words
workers
to transition smoothly Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
also
providing opportunities for younger generations.
Ultimately, the advantages of raising the Linking Words
retirement
Use synonyms
age
, Use synonyms
such
as sustainability of Linking Words
pension
Use synonyms
systems
, retention of experienced Use synonyms
workers
, and potential economic growth tend to outweigh the disadvantages. With thoughtful implementation and support Use synonyms
systems
in place, societies can harness the benefits of an older workforce Use synonyms
while
addressing the challenges that come with Linking Words
this
demographic shift. Linking Words
Thus
, the policy can lead to a more balanced and prosperous economy for all.Linking Words
Submitted by acaitaz on
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relevant specific examples
Ensure that all examples provided are specific and detailed enough to support the main points effectively. For example, mention specific policies or programs related to retirement age that have been implemented in certain countries.
logical structure
In some sections, the essay can benefit from clearer transitions. Introduce connecting phrases such as 'Moreover,' or 'In addition,' to improve the logical flow between ideas.
introduction conclusion present
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the topic and your stance.
complete response
It addresses both advantages and disadvantages of raising the retirement age, indicating a balanced approach.
relevant specific examples
The use of examples such as Moldova, even though requiring more detail, shows an effort to contextualize the argument globally.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.