IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that local authorities should control where building can be constructed. Others thinks that everyone should be free to build where they like without permission. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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A group of individuals presents the view that places that can be used for construction should be controlled by city planners,
while
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 others believe that they should be free to build where they prefer and permissions are rejected. I strongly agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, some people justifiably argue that passing strict laws by officials for supervising construction is vital so as to preserve the environment. Regulating
such
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 laws can be effective for conserving not only wildlife habitats but
also
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 endangered species.
In other words
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, without these restrictions, there would be more environmental issues because deforestation and,
therefore
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, global warming are more likely to be accelerated. In
this
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 regard, a park that used to be within walking distance of our building was ruined to make way for a skyscraper.
Therefore
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, were the government to enforce effective measures, not only our neighbourhood would offer a pleasant atmosphere, but
also
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 residents could benefit from excellent amenities.
On the other hand
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, another group claims that each individual should be able to build their own buildings, whether commercial or recreational, wherever they like. They firmly insist that if people are rich enough to afford to construct a mansion in the countryside, they should not be limited because it can result in increased standards of living for them.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing. From an environmental point of view, the consequences of these behaviours can be discussed. In my perspective, manufacturing in
such
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 places can cause irreparable damage to green spaces, making it difficult for others to enjoy the tranquillity that the suburbs offer.
To conclude
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, in my view, compulsory permissions that hinder individuals from destroying nature are extremely important, making it possible to not only preserve but
also
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 take full advantage of nature.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the discussion topic and your main points align closely with the prompt. Your essay indicates an understanding of the topic but can benefit from more targeted examples directly relating to the prompt.
coherence & cohesion
Strive for a logical sequence of ideas throughout your essay. While your text presents ideas in a structured manner, transitions between them can be improved for smoother reader navigation and enhanced coherence.
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