It is important for the children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #behavior

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There is a section of people who believe that children must be punished to make them good citizens. I fully agree with

this

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view, as there are many reasons to support it.

This

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essay will explore my point of view and propose professional corrective measures that can be used to teach proper

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behavior

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behaviour

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to minors. First of all, one of the clear advantages of punishing children for bad

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behavior

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behaviour

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is that they will not repeat the same

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behavior

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behaviour

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In other words

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, adolescence is very important for character development. Teachers and parents play an important role in shaping the character of children, so government systems should be created to prevent teenagers from doing wrong. In

this

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way, they are developing the future of the country.

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, recently there have been several cases of physical harassment of elementary school students in schools. These students should be punished to avoid

such

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behavior

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behaviour

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. Juveniles often commit crimes because of peer pressure, so

punishment

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for the entire group can help prevent future crimes.

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, criminal convictions must be brought to a professional level. The exact method of

punishment

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will affect the effectiveness.

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, giving them extra academic assignments,

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as giving a public speech about a community leader, can help them understand the importance of being a good citizen.

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, Mongolian school students are required to prepare a speech about customs as a

punishment

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As a result

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, teenagers can learn more about the tradition

while

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preparing their speech. In conclusion,

punishment

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for bad

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behavior

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behaviour

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can help reduce juvenile delinquency.

Punishment

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such

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as extra homework, can help keep them on track. I believe that strategic sentencing methods will reduce juvenile delinquency.

Submitted by buyabuya201 on Thu Apr 11 2024

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Development

Ensure that main points are consistently supported with specific examples and elaboration to strengthen the argument further.

Structure

While your essay shows a clear structure, working on smoother transitions between paragraphs will enhance the overall coherence.

Language

Integrating a broader range of vocabulary related to the topic and varying sentence structures can enrich your expression.

Introduction & Conclusion

The introduction and conclusion clearly present your viewpoint, proficiently framing the essay.

Task Response

You effectively outlined and defended your position with relevant examples and reasoning, demonstrating a solid task achievement.

Structure

The logical structure of your essay, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, is commendable, contributing to its clarity.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

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Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problem,as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the past, most people lived in small villages where everyone knew everyone else. Nowadays most people live in large cities where they only know a few people in their area. What do you think were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

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