IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful give details of when you would be available for work

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Dear Sir, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that your museum team is looking for some candidates to do part-time or unpaid voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 which is near to my house and I would like to apply for voluntary
work
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. I am a college student and I am on my summer break and available
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
. My professor
gaveme
Correct your spelling
gave me
 a project on voluntary
work
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 and asked for full experience during unpaid
work
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, I'm perfect for
this
Linking Words
work
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 because I have speaking skills, I can manage the visitor's sheet properly because I'm good at maths and I have a certificate in computer courses so if is there anything which is related to computer-based I'll give my best in it.
Also
Linking Words
, performing voluntary
work
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 gives inner satisfaction. I have done so much
work
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 without any fee and I'll feel so grateful if I can get a chance to
work
Use synonyms
 for the museum. I hope you take
this
Linking Words
 request into consideration and I'm looking forward to working with your team. Yours faithfully, Sam

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you fully understand and address all parts of the task given. While you mentioned your desire to volunteer and your skills, elaborating more on how these skills directly relate to the potential tasks at the museum would strengthen your response. Consider adding examples or experiences to demonstrate your skills in action.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on logically organizing your paragraphs and ideas. Your letter flows relatively well, but sharper transitions between paragraphs and a clearer structure showing introduction, body, and conclusion will enhance readability. Using linking words effectively can also help in making your letter more coherent.
coherence cohesion
In terms of logical structure and ensuring a single idea per paragraph, make sure each paragraph serves a clear purpose and sticks to one main idea. For instance, one paragraph can focus on your reasons for wanting to volunteer, another on your specific skills and how they apply, and a final one on your availability.
coherence cohesion
Incorporating a more formal greeting and signing off can improve the professional tone of your letter. Consider researching standard formats for formal letters to ensure you're adhering to expected norms.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enthusiastic
  • Volunteer
  • Part-time
  • Unpaid work
  • Museum director
  • Skills and qualities
  • Customer service
  • Organization
  • Team player
  • Flexible
  • Reliable
  • Positive attitude
  • Availability
  • Professional goals
  • Community contribution
  • References
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