IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People in some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

#people #countries #home #be #case #development
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According to
 certain
people
, living in a temporary
house
 is preferable to owning one in some countries. In
this
 essay, I will discuss why renting can allow for a more flexible lifestyle but why it can eventually be financially disadvantageous. One of the reasons for renting a
house
 is that
people
 who live far away can stay near their office or school. For those individuals who have jobs in certain areas and need temporary accommodation closer to work or students who want to live in the university environment,
for example
, they can save on time because
people
 no longer need to commute or drive for several hours.
Moreover
, whenever they finish their duties, they can move whenever they want without worrying about selling the
house
. Having a convenient place to dwell is a crucial advantage of renting.
On the contrary
, renting a home long-term can cause inefficiency costs.
For instance
, the tenants must pay the building maintenance or flat bill for electricity or gas even though they do not use much. Another risk is that the landlord or the property management might increase the rent rate every time, which causes a problem for
people
 who do not have permanent jobs or are unemployed. Renting a
house
 can cause financial issues for some
people
 if they live for extended periods.
Therefore
, owning the home is more profitable in
this
 case. In conclusion, renting a
house
 offers flexibility in some aspects,
while
 buying a
house
 is more cost-efficient for long-term periods. I prefer buying a home rather than renting it to make a good investment when I retire.
Submitted by aquariusgirl17 on

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Task response
Ensure your introduction directly addresses the question by stating whether owning a home is important and why, rather than beginning with a vague generalization about preferences for renting.
Task response
Introduce specific examples to support your arguments, enhancing the relevance and strength of your essay.
Coherence and cohesion
Clarify your stance in the introduction and reinforce it in the conclusion for a stronger, more persuasive argument.
Coherence and cohesion
Use clear paragraph structures, with introductory sentences for each paragraph that outline the main idea to be discussed.
Coherence and cohesion
You've articulated the flexibility benefits of renting as well as the financial advantages of owning a home coherently.
Task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion on the subject, exploring both sides of the argument.
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