Some people think that the government should offer financial support and care to old people, while others think that people should save money for their future life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some communities argue that the
government
should give economic support
and take care of the old community. However
, others claim that is
it a waste and should store money for the future. I agree to a greater extent.
Regarding this
topic, there are a number of positive effects due to
fundamental rights and the future of ours. The first effect is fundamental rights. Supporting is the fundamental right of old people
. When they're young, they pay taxes
for the development of the country. For example
, they did take care of old people
in the past. Therefore
, they paid taxes
to older people
. people
need to receive government
support
. The second reason
is the future of ours. When we get old, we will retire in society. If the economy of our society is hard, we may not be able to pay medical bills and buy food. At this
time, we need support
from the government
.
However
, when thinking of this
reason
, the topic shows a significant negative effect. The first reason
is decreasing in country finances. When the government
use taxes
to support
old people
. The government
may be not other aspects, such
as science and medicine. Moreover
, people
may turn away from supporting of elderly. The next reason
is the decreasing birth rate. When the government
pays taxes
to support
the elderly rather than the childbirth policy. Many married couples will not birth to babies. Because house prices and education bills will increase, therefore
married couples will live hardly without the support
of the government
When considering all these points in mind. in conclusion, discussing their points. I agree to a greater extent that the government
should help the elderly. Because it is a reward from their efforting. Moreover
, when older people
were young, they had support
for other people
and weak people
. Therefore
, we need to think and support
the elderly.Submitted by rjsdn2233 on
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task achievement
Ensure clarity in presenting your arguments and avoid general statements without specific examples or explanations.
task achievement
It's beneficial to introduce counterarguments more clearly to enhance the balance in discussion.
coherence and cohesion
Use a variety of linking words to improve logical progression between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Try to maintain consistent tenses and pay attention to grammatical accuracy to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your arguments.
task achievement
Good effort in discussing both views and providing your own opinion, as the task requires.
coherence and cohesion
You made an effort to support your main points with explanations, which strengthens your arguments.