IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Big salary is more important than job satisfaction. Do you agree or disagree?

#salary #job #satisfaction
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There is an opinion that it is better to have a large income than an interesting professional activity. Indeed, people often prefer money to a love for
work
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.
However
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, I do not agree with
this
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 opinion, because it is the interest in
work
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 that gives good career opportunities. In my essay, I would like to give my arguments in support of my opinion.
First,
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job satisfaction is essential to the
overall
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 quality of life.
Work
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 that brings joy can significantly increase happiness levels and reduce stress levels. People who love what they do are more likely to be more productive, and creative, and have better relationships with colleagues.
For example
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, a person who values himself as a professional will always have respect in the team. Working with a high salary often does not bring satisfaction.
On the contrary
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, it can cause physical, moral and psychological distress.
Secondly
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, love for
work
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 will always give a positive result, because an enthusiastic employer will try to do his job well. Quality
work
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 will bring a good reputation to the company, and
such
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 a reputation, as a rule, will bring high profits or interest sponsors. Ultimately, without passion for what we do, we do not have to be scientifically open, as scientists have done all our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. In the end, each person must make his or her choice understand what is more important to him, and try to find a job that will satisfy both his financial needs and the desire for personal qualities.
Submitted by samedovateacher on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and builds on the previous points for better flow.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
task achievement
The essay presents a strong opinion and provides arguments in support of the viewpoint.
task achievement
The vocabulary and expressions used are appropriate and varied.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remuneration
  • financial security
  • motivation
  • luxuries
  • material possessions
  • fulfillment
  • work-life balance
  • stress levels
  • mental well-being
  • job security
What to do next:
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