In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s world
people
live longer than past. Whether the ageing population is beneficial for societies or not has always been a controversial topic. Some people
think that this
phenomenon will be problematic for governments, while
others are of the opinion that societies can benefit from it. In this
essay, both perspectives will be explored and then
I will express my viewpoint.
On the one hand, an increased number of elderly people
might impose a financial burden on governments. Firstly
, aged people
need more medical care systems. As a result
, authorities have to allocate an intensive budget to respond to this
demand. For instance
, research conducted in Britain revealed that approximately more than 70% of people
who go to medical care centres have more than 50 years. Also
, if old people
live prolonged, governments must pay pensions to numerous retirements for long years which is frustrating for them.
On the other hand
, proponents of living longer state that it can improve the mental health of societies, leading to brilliant consequences. When parents live longer, the bond connection between family members can improve their overall
well-being, preventing depression, stress, anxiety, and even crime that stem from their parent’s deaths. For example
, it was written in a newspaper that the crime rate by far is higher among individuals who have lost at least one of their parents. They also
, state that elderly people
are a bank of experience which can be helpful for a country. For instance
, an old teacher at a prestigious university can be productive not only for universities but also
for industries.
In conclusion, although
at first glance the ageing population seems worrying, because of the costs of their treatment or pension, from my point of view, if some measures are considered such
as increasing the retirement age, its upsides outweigh its downsides like enhancing the families moral and utilizing their rich experiences.Submitted by TUTOO on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next, and use a variety of cohesive devices to achieve seamless reading.
task achievement
Develop your ideas further to make them more comprehensive and clear to the reader. Providing additional details and explanations can help.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the context and wrapping up the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, which helps to enhance the argument.
task achievement
You have addressed the prompt well and provided a balanced view before stating your own perspective.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...