Some people should focus on all, whereas other people think that they should concentrate on only those that they find interesting. Discuss both views and give your own.

Both
views on
teenagers
' academic focus have their merits. Advocates for equal emphasis on all
subjects
argue that it provides a well-rounded education, equipping
teenagers
with a broad skill set useful in various aspects of life.
This
approach
ensures exposure to a range of disciplines, fostering critical thinking and problem-solving abilities across different domains.
Moreover
, it prevents knowledge gaps that may hinder future academic or professional pursuits.
On the other hand
, supporters of concentrating on
subjects
of interest contend that it promotes intrinsic motivation and deeper engagement with learning. When
teenagers
are passionate about a subject, they are more likely to invest time and effort into mastering it, potentially leading to excellence in that field.
This
approach
allows individuals to capitalize on their strengths and pursue avenues where they can make meaningful contributions, fostering a sense of
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
and achievement. In my opinion, a balanced
approach
combining elements of
both
perspectives is ideal.
While
it's essential for
teenagers
to have a solid foundation across various
subjects
, they should
also
have the autonomy to explore their interests and delve deeper into areas that captivate them.
This
approach
encourages curiosity, self-discovery, and personal growth
while
ensuring a well-rounded education.
For example
, a student with a passion for literature may excel in English classes and find joy in analyzing literary works. Allowing them to focus more on literature
while
still maintaining a baseline level of proficiency in other
subjects
can nurture their talents and potentially lead to future academic or professional opportunities in the field of literature or related areas. In conclusion,
while
there are valid arguments for
both
equal emphasis on all
subjects
and focusing on areas of interest, a balanced
approach
that incorporates elements of
both
perspectives is optimal.
This
approach
caters to individual strengths and interests
while
ensuring a comprehensive education that prepares
teenagers
for future success.
Submitted by absalomamat on

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task achievement
Your essay well addresses the prompt by discussing both views and providing your opinion, which aligns with the requirements for a high score in task achievement. To improve, ensure your examples are as specific and detailed as possible to further strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
You've structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, work on connecting your ideas more seamlessly. Utilizing a wider range of linking words and phrases can improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task response
You provided a balanced view that includes a discussion of both perspectives and your own opinion, meeting the task requirements effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, aiding in its readability and understanding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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