In the past, knowledge was stored in books. Today, people stored knowledge on the Internet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
In many previous years, books were considered as the essential containers of valuable
knowledge
. Nowadays, people depend on the Internet
in order to store information
instead
. This
writer contends that the benefits of convenience as well as
a sense of attraction for consumers exceed the drawbacks of health problems.
There is no doubt that it is more convenient for users when information
is contained on the Internet
. In other words
, finding knowledge
on the ebooks is actually easier and faster than the conventional ones. For instance
, due to
the development of smartphones, humans can gather a variety of data in a small device instead
of a thousand papers. As a consequence
, the number of individuals who prefer reading will increase significantly in the following years and also
reduce the addiction to video games in teenagers.
Another point for consideration is that the types of knowledge
which appear on the Internet
tend to be more attractive to readers. To be more specific, information
in electronic papers is designed more colourfully as well as
lively which is regarded as the biggest motivation for readers. For example
, whether knowledge
is valuable, people are more likely to be bored when they read a full page of words; hence
, ebooks can help readers avoid being in this
case with numerous attractive images.
On the other hand
, looking for worthwhile information
on smart devices can lead to some severe health problems related to sight. This
is because the blue light released from the screen of technologies has a negative impact on human eyes. This
point may be true, but there are some solutions in order to cope with the visual issues so people possibly exploit the indispensable information
on this
platform without any concern.
In conclusion, important data tend to be stored on the Internet
instead
of traditional books. Although
this
can cause serious problems involving human sight, the current solution can deal with them and humans need the paramount importance of knowledge
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introduction
Your introduction is clear and provides an overview of your main points. However, it could be slightly more engaging by framing the debate a bit more elaborately before stating your position.
cohesion
While your essay is generally well-organized, aim to ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs. For example, the shift from discussing convenience to health issues could be more seamlessly connected.
task response
Enhance the depth of your analysis by adding more detailed examples and explanations. While the examples you’ve provided are relevant, developing them further would enrich your argument.
task achievement
Your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages clearly, showing a good understanding of the topic.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your points and reinforces your initial argument, making your essay feel complete.
coherence
You have maintained a good logical structure throughout the essay, with clear and coherent ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.