Some people think that government should spend money on building new train lines,while others believe that improving public transport is more beneficial.Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

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The
transportation
Use synonyms
revolution is accelerating at a faster pace. Some
people
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believe that governing bodies should allocate funds in building more
train
Use synonyms
routes
whereas
Linking Words
others argue that the funds should be invested in improvisation of existing public
transportation
Use synonyms
. I firmly believe that money spent on upgrading commonly used
transportation
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would be considered a positive approach. To commence with, building new
train
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routes in countryside
areas
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would help individuals to connect more easily to the urban parts.
As developing
Change preposition
Developing
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new
train
Use synonyms
lines will benefit
people
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living in rural
areas
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in many ways.
Firstly
Linking Words
, they will be able to not only
travel
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to metro cities without spending much on
travel
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costs but
also
Linking Words
can
Verb problem
apply
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spend more time exploring city life.
For example
Linking Words
, developing new railway lines in the village of Agra will mitigate the school-going students’ problem of travelling as they have to
travel
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2 hours prior to their school.
However
Linking Words
, money spent on certain
areas
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would not solely solve the problem of the country.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, making improvisations on public
transportation
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such
Linking Words
as local
buses
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would help to alleviate the transport problems in cities,
for example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
the shortage and inconvenience of bus seats
people
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tend to use private transport like Uber or their vehicles for affordability and
comfortness
Correct your spelling
comfort
. If the government could invest money in the
overall
Linking Words
infrastructure of the bus,
people
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would definitely prefer these modernized
buses
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over private
transportation
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in order to save their
travel
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costs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, adding more
buses
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for one route might help the crowd to scatter properly
as a result
Linking Words
, everyone should be able to get properly seated.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making small efforts from the
transportation
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authorities could help the city to become more developed and prosperous. Despite new
Use synonyms
train
Add a comma
train,
show examples
routes would be responsible for connecting
people
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from different parts, improving local
buses
Use synonyms
lead individuals to
travel
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hassle-free and in a cost-effective manner.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe that the government should develop certain
areas
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in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
more prosperous manner by allocating funds to modernized
buses
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by saniyakalsi3736 on

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Structure & Flow
You've done a great job of laying out your essay in a structured and logical manner. Each paragraph smoothly transitions into the next, which greatly enhances the overall flow and understandability of your argument.
Grammar & Spelling
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical and spelling errors. These small mistakes can slightly distract from the overall quality of your writing, but they're easy to fix with a quick review.
Vocabulary
To further strengthen your argument, consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary. This does not necessarily mean using complex words but varying your language to vividly express your ideas and keep the reader engaged.
Argument Depth
Your essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument and provides clear reasoning for your opinion. However, to elevate your essay further, consider deepening your analysis with more detailed examples or data to support your claims. This added depth can provide more weight to your arguments and make your essay even more compelling to the reader.
Structure
Effective structure and logical argument flow
Opinion & Justification
Clear presentation of personal opinion with justification
Example Usage
Use of relevant examples to support points

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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