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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as science and technology.

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There are individuals who advocate for allowing university
students
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 to pursue studies based on their interests,
while
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 others argue that
students
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 should only be permitted to focus on disciplines deemed beneficial for the
future
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,
such
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 as
science
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 and
technology
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. If
students
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 are allowed to study whatever they like, several outcomes can be anticipated.
Firstly
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,
students
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 may exhibit higher levels of motivation and engagement in their studies as they are pursuing subjects that genuinely interest them.
This
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 could lead to enhanced academic performance and a more positive learning experience.
However
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, there may be some challenges that arise from
this
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 approach.
Students
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 might choose to study subjects that are not aligned with the current job market demands, potentially impacting their
future
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 employability.
Additionally
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, without guidance on the relevance and practicality of their chosen fields of study,
students
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 could face difficulties in transitioning into the workforce post-graduation. On the positive side, a diverse range of interests among
students
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 could foster creativity, innovation, and a well-rounded education system.
Nevertheless
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, there needs to be a balance between following one's passion and considering the practical implications of their chosen path to ensure
students
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 are adequately prepared for their
future
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 careers. Enhanced Employability:
Students
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 who specialize in
science
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 and
technology
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 may find themselves more prepared for the job market, as these fields often have high demand for skilled professionals.
This
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 can lead to easier entry into the workforce and potentially higher salaries. Potential Downsides:
However
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,
this
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 narrow focus on
science
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 and
technology
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 may neglect the importance of other disciplines
such
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 as arts, social sciences, and humanities which are essential for a well-rounded education. Ignoring these areas can limit
students
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' critical thinking skills, creativity, and their ability to engage with complex societal issues that cannot be solved by
science
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 and
technology
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 alone. Some people support the idea of allowing college
students
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 to follow their passions when studying,
whereas
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 others believe
students
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 should concentrate solely on subjects like
science
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 and
technology
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 that are considered advantageous for the
future
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.
This
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 essay discussed the two statements. In my opinion, both of them are profitable for
students
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 because if they learn the couple of skills, they will be needed for the
future
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.

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring your essay with a clearer division between paragraphs and a more explicit thesis statement in the introduction. This will help in guiding the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your examples more directly to the points you are making. Make sure every main paragraph has at least one specific example to support its argument.
task achievement
Your response to the task could be strengthened by providing a more balanced comparison between the two positions. Make sure to explore each viewpoint thoroughly before presenting your own perspective.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and the connections between your ideas.
task achievement
Incorporate more detailed examples that are directly related to the topic. Avoid overly general statements and strive for specificity in your illustrations to better support your arguments.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • engagement
  • excel
  • innovative contributions
  • diversity in research
  • well-rounded education
  • broad perspectives
  • critical thinking skills
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • forced academic paths
  • job-ready
  • skills shortages
  • tech-driven economy
  • employment rates
  • changing job market
  • utilitarian subjects
  • aptitudes
  • wasting talent
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