IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in COUNTRISIDE. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#city #life #countriside
A group of
people
 consider that living in the countryside is more demanding than cities, meanwhile , a city offers a large number of advantages. I generally agree with
this
 view because the urban area can provide numerous
options
.
To begin
 with, the urban
areas
 have developed over these years and a significant number of functions have been provided,
such
 as a good education system, job positions and health care, and these
options
 are gathered because of the increasing population and demands of the citizens. if the governments do not provide these
options
 a large number of
people
 have to commute daily and it will cost a massive amount of money,
as a result
, they focus on a specific location and industry
all
Correct word choice
and all
show examples
 necessary items there.
For example
, in Iran, all the great hospitals and well-known schools located in cities and all kinds of facilities will be provided just for central
areas
.
On the other hand
, living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural nations might have lower noise and pollution and the
people
 are able to enjoy life
while
 can be in touch with nature,
although
, these aspects are temporary and adults need a good salary
also
 good functions for their children.
Furthermore
, I believe, adults can spend their weekends in the countryside and fulfil both aspects of their lives. In conclusion, in my opinion, a greater amount of facilities have been provided for urban
areas
 because of a larger amount of the population living there, and living in a city is a beneficial way because
people
 can spend their weekends in the rural
areas
 with a high salary and good
options
.
Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on

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Grammar
Be cautious with the use of articles ('a', 'the'); missing or incorrect use can disrupt the flow of your writing.
Language usage
Try to use a variety of complex sentences to demonstrate your language skills.
Vocabulary
Consider revising for word repetition ('a large number of') to enhance your vocabulary range.
Argumentation
You have effectively provided clear arguments to support your view.
Structure
Your essay structure is logical, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Content
Relevant examples and reasons are provided, strengthening your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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