The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

The growth of mobile phone utilization in the
last
decades has altered the manner of our lives,
communication
, and even business. Using mobile
phones
is widely considered the reason for a significant number of social and health problems;
however
, I affirm that the beneficial role of mobile
phones
cannot be ignored even if they have caused some downsides.
Initially
, the increment employ of mobile
phones
, better to say technology, has always been criticized
due to
the fact that it is believed to have more drawbacks compared to its positive use.
For instance
, many users claim that they are able to meet their family and friends online,
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
their business aims, and make money which makes them able to save more time and energy,
nonetheless
, the harmful effects of
this
kind of
communication
, encompassing social isolation, depression, and disillusionment cannot be overlooked.
On the other hand
, it is obvious that the number of illnesses has escalated since the invention of mobile
phones
has been enhanced.
For instance
, the rate of obesity, cardiovascular diseases, mental disorders, etc. has increased
due to
the excessive use of mobile
phones
and exposure to mobile radiation. Not only do we witness numerous physical issues, but
also
, we can
also
distinguish the increased number of social problems including
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
issues,
communication
problems, and
such
things which are all the consequences of using mobile
phones
. In conclusion, considering all the above-mentioned matters, we cannot condone the effective role of mobile
phones
and the ease they have brought in
communication
and data interchange.
Additionally
, I am inclined to approve that mobile
phones
are useful devices but the way we use them can determine their negative or positive impacts.
Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve the clarity and impact of your essay, including more specific examples to support your arguments would be beneficial. This helps illustrate your points more vividly and makes the essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Ensure a balance of discussion between advantages and disadvantages in your essay. Exploring both sides equally gives your argument depth and fairness.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to create stronger linking sentences at the end of each paragraph that smoothly transition to the next idea or section. This will improve the flow of your essay, making it easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Consider using a wider variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the cohesiveness and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
You provided a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay's argument.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the task directly and provided a comprehensive view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
You successfully maintained a logical structure throughout your essay, which helps in clearly conveying your message.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • cyberbullying
  • screen time
  • data privacy
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • eye strain
  • sleep disorders
  • chronic issues
  • productivity
  • notifications
  • validation
  • self-esteem
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!