The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

#phone #years #business #phones #forms

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The growth of mobile phone utilization in the

last

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decades has altered the manner of our lives,

communication

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, and even business. Using mobile

phones

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is widely considered the reason for a significant number of social and health problems;

however

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, I affirm that the beneficial role of mobile

phones

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cannot be ignored even if they have caused some downsides.

Initially

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, the increment employ of mobile

phones

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, better to say technology, has always been criticized

due to

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the fact that it is believed to have more drawbacks compared to its positive use.

For instance

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, many users claim that they are able to meet their family and friends online,

fulfill

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fulfil

show examples

their business aims, and make money which makes them able to save more time and energy,

nonetheless

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, the harmful effects of

this

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kind of

communication

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, encompassing social isolation, depression, and disillusionment cannot be overlooked.

On the other hand

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, it is obvious that the number of illnesses has escalated since the invention of mobile

phones

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has been enhanced.

For instance

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, the rate of obesity, cardiovascular diseases, mental disorders, etc. has increased

due to

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the excessive use of mobile

phones

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and exposure to mobile radiation. Not only do we witness numerous physical issues, but

also

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, we can

also

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distinguish the increased number of social problems including

behavioral

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behavioural

show examples

issues,

communication

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problems, and

such

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things which are all the consequences of using mobile

phones

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. In conclusion, considering all the above-mentioned matters, we cannot condone the effective role of mobile

phones

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and the ease they have brought in

communication

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and data interchange.

Additionally

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, I am inclined to approve that mobile

phones

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are useful devices but the way we use them can determine their negative or positive impacts.

Submitted by mojgan.sobhani on Sun Apr 14 2024

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task achievement

To improve the clarity and impact of your essay, including more specific examples to support your arguments would be beneficial. This helps illustrate your points more vividly and makes the essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Ensure a balance of discussion between advantages and disadvantages in your essay. Exploring both sides equally gives your argument depth and fairness.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, try to create stronger linking sentences at the end of each paragraph that smoothly transition to the next idea or section. This will improve the flow of your essay, making it easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Consider using a wider variety of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to improve the cohesiveness and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency throughout your essay.

coherence cohesion

You provided a solid introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay's argument.

task achievement

Your essay addressed the task directly and provided a comprehensive view of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You successfully maintained a logical structure throughout your essay, which helps in clearly conveying your message.

11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

over-reliance
cyberbullying
screen time
data privacy
identity theft
financial fraud
eye strain
sleep disorders
chronic issues
productivity
notifications
validation
self-esteem

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The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? Has this been a positive or negative development?

6.Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development?

Some people believe teenagers should concentrate on all subjects, even ones they do not enjoy. Others, however, believe that teenagers should only focus on the subjects they are bast at or find most interesting. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays the population of young people is more than old people in the countries and it benefits us to what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people believe that residents are responsible for keeping the roads clean and others say that it is the responsibility of the government. Discuss both views and give your opinion?