Many believe that young people should spend more of their time with their family instead of other entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?
More often, it is debated that spending more
time
with family is more important for youngsters rather than spending on enjoyment. I partially agree with the given statement owing to a number of reasons which are to be discussed thoroughly.
To commence with, there is a wide array of reasons why people reckon that family time
is more valuable for youth. The most significant reason is that when juveniles sit with their family members they learn moral ethics. To clarify, when children spend their time
with family members, they share about their day, talk about their future and also
get suggestions on whether something is good or bad. To illustrate, in India, a good percentage of kids living in joint families with their grandparents are well mannered, as they spend a lot of time
with them and they teach them the basic principles of life. Hence
, spending leisure time
with family can prove to be of great value in future.
Despite having the arguments, there are a plethora of disagreements on this
phenomenon. The most significant reason is that children nowadays are stressed more when compared to a few years ago. Without a doubt, children have a lot of burden of studies in order to achieve good grades. Moreover
, the competition among the students has also
increased. Due to
this
, youngsters need their personal time
as well, in which they can go out to watch movies or go shopping. As a result
, their mood will be refreshed. Furthermore
, this
will also
help kids to socialize and help them understand what is prevailing in society.
To conclude
, supported by the explanation above, it is safe to say that although
family time
for youngsters is important in the development of some aspects, entertainment such
as shopping or playing games is also
needed to spend their day happily.Submitted by jaspreet on
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coherence cohesion
You've done a great job presenting your argument logically and coherently. Make sure every paragraph flows smoothly into the next for an even stronger structure.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear, effectively framing your argument. Consider adding a concluding sentence that more directly summarizes your main points and stance.
task achievement
Your examples and reasons supporting your views are relevant and well-chosen. To elevate your essay further, consider diversifying your examples for a broader perspective.
task achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the prompt, providing a balanced view. For an even stronger response, ensure each paragraph contributes uniquely to your argument without repetition.
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, providing a nuanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, enhances the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Using specific examples, like the reference to Indian joint families, makes your argument more convincing and relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
