IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

✅ In today's busy world, maintaining a good work-life balance has become increasingly difficult for many people. What are the main reasons for this problem? What solutions can help people achieve a better work-life balance?

At present time, it is difficult for many public to keep tasks and home life separate and to find the right
work-life
Use synonyms
 tension. In today's busy world, most people suffer from the inability to find the right
work-life
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 tension.
This
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 essay will examine some of these problems in detail, and
then
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 propose some solutions. One of the main causes of the problem is expensive living conditions and financial pressure.
In other words
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, society should work overtime to cover their living expenses and pay bills and rent.
For example
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,
according to
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 the survey, 68 % of the population looking for an extra job to pay for loans. They are putting their health at risk
due to
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 financial pressure. The solution is for the government to create more job opportunities and increase wages.
That is
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 to say, by increasing stable and fair job opportunities, people will have a consistent source of income. Another problem is that staff are urged to overwork by managers.
In other words
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, bosses exhort their staff to overwork for the company's success and work efficiency.
For instance
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, if employees work an extra 2 hours, managers can earn 500$ per month. To tackle
this
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 issue the state punishes bosses who employ workers a lot.
To sum up
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,
although
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 maintaining a good
work-life
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 balance has become increasingly difficult,
this
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 balance plays the most important role in personal and professional life. Achieving a good
work-life
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 balance plays a vital role in living a fulfilling life and reaching long-term success. My view is that the main responsibility for solving the problem lies with the government.

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Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas in the body paragraphs, especially the second one, to provide more comprehensive explanations and examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows logically to the next. Try to connect the points you make more explicitly.
Task Achievement
The essay clearly identifies the problems related to work-life balance and proposes solutions, demonstrating an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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