deforestatrion caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem ?

#deforestatrion #activity #parts #world #results #environment

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Due to

human factors, we lost myriad forests all around the world.

Also

, it brought to us extensive damage to vegetation in many areas. So, we have to do something urgently to find a way out. In

this

article, I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

my opinions.

Firstly

, we know, people have to the something to survive.

That is

why, we build buildings and factories and

also

, we cut down trees for heat in the modern world.

However

, we should know that all of these are really bad things for our health and future lives.

While

folks doing something, need to think about the next generation.

Secondly

, states have to prepare new laws about their surroundings.

Also

, the public should be informed by governments.

This

education should start with schools. Or, there must be ways to obtain energy without felling trees and destroying forests. Or, we should avoid embracing city life, the person can prefer to live in the village.

Thus

, families do not need to remove the forests. They can learn within nature and defend it.

Thirdly

, I am from Turkey and our founder's name is Mustafa Kemal Atatürk. He had a mansion in Bursa and there was a plane tree in front of the mansion. The plane had grown up and it had to be cut.

However

, Mustafa Kemal Atatürk really cared about nature and green. So rather than cut down the tree, he asked him to move the mansion. Actually, that example shows us the importance of nature. I always take

this

behaviour as an example. In conclusion, soil nourishes us, gives oxygen, protects us...etc.

While

it is doing so many things, we just have to protect it and take care of it. In my opinion,

this

can only be possible with education. Education starts in the family.

Submitted by ecem.tekben on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Structure

Consider using a variety of sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to clearly express your ideas.

Coherence

To enhance coherence, use more linking words and phrases to better connect your paragraphs and main points.

Introduction & Conclusion

Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and outlines the main points you will discuss. Your conclusion should summarize these points and restate your position or findings.

Argument Support

Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This makes your points more convincing and your essay more informative.

Content

You effectively communicated the urgency of addressing deforestation and suggested practical solutions, demonstrating good task achievement.

Example

The inclusion of a personal example from Turkey adds a unique and engaging perspective to your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

299 words

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deforestatrion caused by human activity is happening in many parts of the world, with serious results for the environment. What do you think can be done to solve this problem ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people consider art to be essential and others think it is not. Which view do you agree with and why? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that public health is the responsibility of the government while others think that people should be responsible for their own health. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.