IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

A Australian friend recently sent you a present by post. You want to thank him/her. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter -say how you felt when you received the present -describe what you like about it -explain how you will use the present

#australian #friend #post #-say #-describe #-explain
Dear Jennifer, How are you? I hope you doing well! It has been a long time since we met.I miss you so much. I hope to see you again in November.
Moreover
, thank you so much for your lovely birthday present.I am so glad you still remember my birthday.I just opened the box.
Then
, I saw lipstick and the package was so cute. Anyway, my sister said that too.
In addition
, it is my favourite colour. So, I try it as soon as possible.
Then
, I found the smell very wonderful like a rose.it is a little bit cold
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 my mouth.I love it!
Besides
, the lipstick colour matches my skin. It makes me look pretty and sexy.
However
, I cannot wait to use it on Emily's birthday party.I think it going to make me look pretty great in the white dress.
In addition
, I'm going to use it for
family
Correct article usage
a family
show examples
 dinner on Friday too! Take care, Kiwi
Submitted by Jirapornjiwnoot on

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Sentence Structure
Ensure to diversify your sentence structures to add complexity and clarity to your writing.
Paragraph Organization
Consider organizing your paragraphs more clearly around a single theme or idea for improved coherence.
Linking Words
Use a variety of linking words to enhance the flow between your ideas and make your writing more cohesive.
Task Response
Your enthusiasm and appreciation for the gift are clearly expressed, showing good task response.
Writing Tone
Effective use of personal tone and engagement, which is suitable for writing to a friend.
Closing
Your letter has a friendly and warm closing, which enhances its overall tone and cohesion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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