Many people aim to achieve balance between work and life, but only a few people achieve it. What problems will be caused by poor work-life balance? How can its negative impacts be prevented?
A large number of the population try to gain a suitable
balance
between work and life
, although
, only a few number of them are able to achieve this
goal. Depression and unsatisfied are feelings that those who can not achieve that balance
have to deal with and they have to make a timetable and rules to control this
occurrence.
To begin
with, citizens when reaching adulthood, have to have a job for their life
and find a good balance
is essential for their well-being states. If they do not achieve this
goal they might find themselves in an unhappy life
that they did not follow their dream. The consequences that might happen are significant. For example
, if adults cannot have their entertainment time and they ignore their basic needs they will face depression because the brain needs relaxation time and needs to recover itself. In addition
, because of unsuitable work-life
, they are not able to spend reasonable time with their family and friends and gradually they will show unsatisfied emotions about life
.
To tackle this
problem, it is vital to consider a plan that indicates our needs and how we can have access to them, for instance
, in Iran most of the population and the government considered an agreement that an individual just can work for 8 hours a day and they cannot participate in the workplace more than this
hours. Moreover
, the company managers have to consider this
restriction to let their employees have a happy life
and the authorities have to monitor the company's behaviours with their staff and put limitations to control their actions.
In conclusion, in my opinion,having a reasonable work-life
balance
is one of the main rights of humanity and people have to find it by rules and timetables which are considered by the communities, if the population can not achieve that goal they might feel unwell and struggle with its consequences.Submitted by soroushnorouzi0478 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Grammar
Vary your sentence structure more to prevent repetition and add complexity to your writing.
Coherence/Cohesion
Ensure you have clear topic sentences for each paragraph that introduce the main idea being discussed.
Lexical Resource
Work on using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas in more precise terms.
Grammar
Double-check your essay for minor spelling or grammatical errors that can distract from your message.
Task Achievement
You effectively addressed all parts of the task, providing a balanced view on the issues and solutions related to work-life balance.
Coherence/Cohesion
You showed a good ability to structure your essay, creating a logical flow that is easy to follow.
Task Achievement
You provided relevant examples and elaborated on your main points, which strengthens your arguments.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?