Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Other thinks that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The methods of mitigating
traffic
congestion
have been a heated topic of controversy. Some people argue that the construction of larger
roads
is the answer to the problems.
However
, I counted that
such
a solution is ineffective in the long term,
while
the option to construct railways and subways is a far better measure. There is a common fallacy that governmental spending on building larger
roads
could sustainably address the problem of
traffic
congestion
. An increase in road size could reduce
traffic
intensity in the short term, but larger
roads
also
mean that citizens are encouraged to purchase more individual vehicles.
This
leads to the fact that the
roads
. albeit larger, would soon be filled with intense
traffic
again.
For instance
,
traffic
jams returned to Jakarta's main streets not long after they were expanded in early 2008. In brief, if
this
solution is implemented,
traffic
jams would still persist in the long run. Rail and subway systems,
however
, could ensure that
traffic
congestion
is properly addressed. Unlike cars and buses, trains are capable of transporting hundreds of people simultaneously and
thus
would meet the transport demand for a vast number of passengers.
Moreover
, trains do not have to go through intersections or
traffic
lights, and dedicated lines ensure their travel is hardly interrupted.
In other words
, trains are always on time regardless of the level of
traffic
.
This
level of punctuality would encourage many people to choose railways and subways as their primary means of transport, and the number of individual vehicles would decrease
accordingly
.
As a result
,
traffic
congestion
could be tackled successfully. In short, the existing data provides a concrete foundation that building more and larger
roads
is an unsustainable measure,
while
train and subway lines would be a much more effective solution for the problem of
traffic
congestion
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Detail & Example
You've done an excellent job in presenting your arguments in a logical and cohesive manner. For further improvement, consider providing even more specific examples and data to back up your points more robustly.
Balance of Discussion
Make sure to maintain the balance between discussing both views and your opinion. You've leaned slightly more towards the benefits of rail and subway systems. It would strengthen your essay to give a bit more space to the counterargument, even if you disagree with it.
Structure
The structure of your essay is very clear, with well-defined paragraphs for each argument.
Introduction & Conclusion
You introduced and concluded your essay effectively, presenting your opinion clearly.
Argument Support
Your main points are well supported by the arguments provided.

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