IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You recently learned that a close friend of yours has had a baby, and you purchased a gift for the baby. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, you should: Congratulate them on the arrival of the baby. Describe the gift you have chosen for the baby. Suggest arrangements for your visit to deliver the gift.

#close #friend #baby #gift #arrangements #visit
Long time no see. It has been 2 years since
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
the
last
 time we saw each other in college. I was very surprised because it was a long time since we had met, but you brought
a big news
Remove the article
big news
a piece of big news
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 for me. When I received your handwritten letter which informed me that you gave birth to a
baby
. Congratulations! I am so happy for you. You
finally
 have your own family with a cute
baby
 girl. After receiving your letter, I bought some clothes and toys as gifts for your
baby
. There are blue
baby
 shark and white
baby
 bear dresses. I just saw them when I went to the mall yesterday.
Also
, I bought some cute toys for your
baby
.
This
 weekend I will have a special meeting with my sister in Toronto. We plan to visit you and your family next Sunday afternoon, so I can give you directly adorable gifts for your
baby
. I suggest celebrating the first birthday party
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 your
baby
. I am happy that you have the first child in your life, hope to see you and your family soon. Best wishes, Hana
Submitted by hana44happy on

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Structure
Ensure the letter follows a clear and logical structure, starting with a greeting, followed by body paragraphs that each focus on a specific topic, and concluding with a closing message.
Detail
To improve task achievement, consider expanding on the description of the gift and how it may benefit or bring joy to the baby.
Engagement
For a more personalized touch, consider adding a question or message expressing your eagerness to meet the baby and see how your friend is adjusting to parenthood.
Tone
The letter begins with a warm greeting and expresses happiness for the friend's new baby, which sets a positive tone.
Task Response
You clearly outlined the purpose of your letter, adhered to the task requirements, and organized your information effectively.
Personal Touch
The suggestion of arranging a visit to deliver the gift in person adds a thoughtful touch and demonstrates consideration for the recipient.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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