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Band 7

People have to spend more and more time to travel their homes for jobs and study. What are the reasons? How can wo solve this problem?

#people #time #travel #homes #jobs #study
These days, we can see global inhabitants spend too much
time
 travelling to either their
work
 or their education places like universities.
This
 essay discusses the main reasons for
this
 matter and how we can solve it. Unfortunately, the
time
 that
people
 invest to go to
work
 or institute is a
lot
 owing to the fact that the number of
people
 who live in the cities climbs and transportation is not really good. On the one hand, a majority of companies and good colleges are in the metropolises;
as a result
, the figure of
people
 who want to find vacancy jobs or study in the best education system emigrates to the urban areas, so the population of the big cities increases and they have to spend a great deal of
time
 on going anywhere.
On the other hand
, the transport system in most countries is really old;
thereafter
, they do not have a number of community capacity and move slowly;
furthermore
, in rush hour
people
 have to invest a
lot
 of
time
 to go to their destination.
This
 issue can be solved by firms, universities, and governments. On the one side, if companies and good institutes create a chance for
people
 to be able to
work
 and study remotely, a majority of
people
 do not go out and do not need to spend a
lot
 of
time
 travelling. On the other side, it is important that authorities fund a
lot
 of money on developing transportation systems and building wider roads. In conclusion,
time
 is a crucial factor;
consequently
, Governments by improving roads and transportation and the employees and students who do their
work
 via the Internet can solve
this
 matter.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to convey a more comprehensive understanding of the issue.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can improve the logical flow and make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion that frame the discussion on the topic effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the key aspects of the task by outlining both problems and solutions, which covers the question comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban sprawl
  • suburban
  • rural areas
  • property prices
  • commute
  • public transport
  • traffic congestion
  • peak hours
  • centralization
  • urbanized areas
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