Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Packaged
products
can be seen everywhere in our lives. Some
people
believe that producers should use less packaging in their
products
. At the same time, others feel it is
people
’s duty to purchase
products
with less packaging. Personally, I think
people
are the main group to take the
responsibility
to control the
amount
of packaging in
products
. There are some strong arguments to support the idea that the
responsibility
of reducing the
amount
of packaging relies only on the manufacturers.
Firstly
, producers have complete knowledge of their
products
and are fully aware of the
amount
of packaging.
Therefore
, they should be conscious of how much material they use in the packaging process.
For instance
, producers can focus on the quality of their packaging material, rather than on the quantity. In
this
way, with the financial power that manufacturers have, they can produce more eco-friendly materials and packages.
As a result
, the
responsibility
relies heavily on the manufacturers to control the
amount
of packaging for their
products
.
On the other hand
, some
people
think that
people
have the
responsibility
to reduce buying
products
with a lot of packaging. Consumers play a crucial role in marketing, which means they have the power to influence market trends through their purchasing decisions.
For example
, individuals usually choose reusable material and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
environmentally friendly
products
, which sends a message to businesses about their preference for sustainable packaging.
As a result
, consumers actively participate in reducing packaging waste and encouraging companies to adopt a more eco-friendly packaging habit. In conclusion, the dilemma of the
responsibility
of packaging is a much-heated controversy. Some believe that it is solely the manufacturers’
responsibility
to control their packaging, others
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, put the burden on
people
’s shoulders. In my personal view, both parties should collaborate to mitigate the negative effects of excessive packaging.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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introduction
Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the views discussed and your stance. Although your introduction does this, making your thesis statement more prominent could enhance clarity.
body paragraph
Develop your paragraphs further with specific examples or data. While you have mentioned examples such as the choice of reusable material by consumers, more detailed examples or statistics could strengthen your argument.
content balance
Try to maintain a balance in discussing both views before stating your opinion. You've managed this well, but emphasising the merits and demerits of each view equally could make your argumentation even stronger.
structure
You've structured your essay logically, presenting a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each view, and a conclusion.
balanced argument
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before arriving at your conclusion, which reflects good understanding and analysis of the topic.
cohesion
You've successfully used connectors and transitions to maintain coherence and cohesion throughout the essay, making your argument easy to follow.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • excessive packaging
  • plastic waste
  • environmental impact
  • sustainable production
  • consumption
  • eco-friendly lifestyle
  • raise awareness
  • informed choices
  • personal carbon footprint
  • prioritize environmental sustainability
  • reduce packaging waste
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