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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is best to live in a vertical city (meaning that people work and live in high buildings) while others think a horizontal city is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #city #work #buildings
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It is true that there is still debate among individuals over whether it is better to live in a horizontal or vertical metropolis.
Although
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 many individuals think that living in a horizontal
city
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 has advantages, I contend that cities with skyscrapers and high-rise structures have more benefits to offer. On the one hand, living in a vertical
city
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 looks like the ideal option. First of all, for individuals with low or intermediate incomes
in particular
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, living in an apartment in a high-rise building would be a preferable option.
For example
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, in Vietnam, the price of a two-story home would be about 5 billion dong,
whereas
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 the price of an apartment would only be about 1.5 billion dong.
Second,
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residents in high-rise buildings would have greater access to amenities like banks, fitness
centers
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centres
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, and supermarkets.
As a result
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, living in an apartment in a tall building with a variety of amenities is far more convenient for occupants.
On the other hand
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, there are a few security and private space reasons why living in a horizontal
city
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 is advantageous for its citizens. Residents in private homes,
for instance
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, could have bigger yards and garages. They would be able to spend more time on activities like vehicle washing and gardening
as a consequence
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, which may be good for their mental health. Another argument is that, in an emergency,
such
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a
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as a
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fire or an earthquake, living in a low-rise structure is safer.
For instance
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, because the house is not too high off the ground, people may rapidly evacuate from risky places in the event of a fire. It
also
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 won't take long for them to do so. In conclusion,
while
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 there is merit to both points of view, I believe that living in a vertical
city
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 is preferable when one is surrounded by skyscrapers.
Submitted by trancaomaitrang on

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Task Achievement
Consider expanding on your examples by explaining how these factors specifically enhance the quality of life in each city type.
Coherence & Cohesion
For even better clarity and impact, try varying your sentence structures more. This can add complexity and sophistication to your argument.
Task Achievement
When discussing your opinion, providing a broader range of reasons or elaborating on why you prefer vertical living could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples to support your points, such as the cost difference between apartment and house living in Vietnam.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good introduction and conclusion that clearly state the essay question and your position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay logically organizes the discussion of both views before stating your own opinion, which helps in maintaining a coherent flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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