Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The global economic downturn has led to an uptick in crime rates across many nations.
While
some attribute Linking Words
this
rise to Linking Words
poverty
and societal issues, others, including myself, contend that criminal Use synonyms
behavior
stems from individual moral failings.
Despite advancements in technology and society, there has been a noticeable decline in moral values among people. Some families, facing economic hardships, may inadvertently encourage their Change the spelling
behaviour
children
to engage in criminal activities as a means of survival. Use synonyms
For example
, in Australia, bicycle thefts are prevalent Linking Words
due to
financial struggles. Linking Words
Additionally
, some Linking Words
children
resort to theft or drug abuse either at school or in their communities, often seeking attention from neglectful parents who prioritize work over their Use synonyms
children
's needs.
Use synonyms
However
, it Linking Words
is
argued by myself and others that Unnecessary verb
apply
poverty
and social issues cannot excuse criminal Use synonyms
behavior
if individuals possess strong morals. Even when born into disadvantaged environments, some individuals refrain from criminal acts Change the spelling
behaviour
due to
their inherent sense of right and wrong. Linking Words
Conversely
, there are cases of affluent Linking Words
children
engaging in illicit activities despite having access to resources and a nurturing family environment. Use synonyms
Therefore
, personal morals play a more significant role than external factors Linking Words
such
as Linking Words
poverty
or family circumstances.
In conclusion, Use synonyms
while
societal factors like Linking Words
poverty
and family issues may influence criminal Use synonyms
behavior
to some extent, the ultimate determinant remains an individual's moral compass.Change the spelling
behaviour
Submitted by baby11mystar on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, focus on improving transitions between your paragraphs. This will make the flow of ideas smoother, allowing the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.
task achievement
Expand on the examples you provided by including more details and explaining how they directly support your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Consider balancing the discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. It allows the reader to understand the complexity of the issue and demonstrates your ability to critique various perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion were well-defined, clearly presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the central arguments.
logical structure
You provided a logical structure within your essay, which helped in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your personal opinion was clearly articulated, enriching the discussion with a distinct perspective.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?