Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The global economic downturn has led to an uptick in crime rates across many nations.

While

Linking Words

some attribute

this

Linking Words

rise to

poverty

Use synonyms

and societal issues, others, including myself, contend that criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

stems from individual moral failings. Despite advancements in technology and society, there has been a noticeable decline in moral values among people. Some families, facing economic hardships, may inadvertently encourage their

children

Use synonyms

to engage in criminal activities as a means of survival.

For example

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, in Australia, bicycle thefts are prevalent

due to

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financial struggles.

Additionally

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, some

children

Use synonyms

resort to theft or drug abuse either at school or in their communities, often seeking attention from neglectful parents who prioritize work over their

children

Use synonyms

's needs.

However

Linking Words

, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

argued by myself and others that

poverty

Use synonyms

and social issues cannot excuse criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

if individuals possess strong morals. Even when born into disadvantaged environments, some individuals refrain from criminal acts

due to

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their inherent sense of right and wrong.

Conversely

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, there are cases of affluent

children

Use synonyms

engaging in illicit activities despite having access to resources and a nurturing family environment.

Therefore

Linking Words

, personal morals play a more significant role than external factors

such

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poverty

Use synonyms

or family circumstances. In conclusion,

while

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societal factors like

poverty

Use synonyms

and family issues may influence criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to some extent, the ultimate determinant remains an individual's moral compass.

baby11mystarFri Apr 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, focus on improving transitions between your paragraphs. This will make the flow of ideas smoother, allowing the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.

task achievement

Expand on the examples you provided by including more details and explaining how they directly support your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Consider balancing the discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. It allows the reader to understand the complexity of the issue and demonstrates your ability to critique various perspectives.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion were well-defined, clearly presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the central arguments.

logical structure

You provided a logical structure within your essay, which helped in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your personal opinion was clearly articulated, enriching the discussion with a distinct perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic circumstances
poverty
lack of education
unemployment
illegal activities
desperation
social issues
exposure to violence
family structures
inherent
personality traits
lack of empathy
aggression
predilection for risk-taking
affluent backgrounds

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Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case? What can be done to attract more local people to these museums?

sports play important tole both mentally and physically

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays, people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this? Suggest possible solutions to control this.