Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The global economic downturn has led to an uptick in crime rates across many nations.
While
some attribute
this
rise to
poverty
and societal issues, others, including myself, contend that criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
stems from individual moral failings. Despite advancements in technology and society, there has been a noticeable decline in moral values among people. Some families, facing economic hardships, may inadvertently encourage their
children
to engage in criminal activities as a means of survival.
For example
, in Australia, bicycle thefts are prevalent
due to
financial struggles.
Additionally
, some
children
resort to theft or drug abuse either at school or in their communities, often seeking attention from neglectful parents who prioritize work over their
children
's needs.
However
, it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
argued by myself and others that
poverty
and social issues cannot excuse criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
if individuals possess strong morals. Even when born into disadvantaged environments, some individuals refrain from criminal acts
due to
their inherent sense of right and wrong.
Conversely
, there are cases of affluent
children
engaging in illicit activities despite having access to resources and a nurturing family environment.
Therefore
, personal morals play a more significant role than external factors
such
as
poverty
or family circumstances. In conclusion,
while
societal factors like
poverty
and family issues may influence criminal
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
to some extent, the ultimate determinant remains an individual's moral compass.
Submitted by baby11mystar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, focus on improving transitions between your paragraphs. This will make the flow of ideas smoother, allowing the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.
task achievement
Expand on the examples you provided by including more details and explaining how they directly support your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Consider balancing the discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. It allows the reader to understand the complexity of the issue and demonstrates your ability to critique various perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion were well-defined, clearly presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the central arguments.
logical structure
You provided a logical structure within your essay, which helped in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your personal opinion was clearly articulated, enriching the discussion with a distinct perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic circumstances
  • poverty
  • lack of education
  • unemployment
  • illegal activities
  • desperation
  • social issues
  • exposure to violence
  • family structures
  • inherent
  • personality traits
  • lack of empathy
  • aggression
  • predilection for risk-taking
  • affluent backgrounds
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!