Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

The global economic downturn has led to an uptick in crime rates across many nations.
While
some attribute
this
rise to
poverty
and societal issues, others, including myself, contend that criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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stems from individual moral failings. Despite advancements in technology and society, there has been a noticeable decline in moral values among people. Some families, facing economic hardships, may inadvertently encourage their
children
to engage in criminal activities as a means of survival.
For example
, in Australia, bicycle thefts are prevalent
due to
financial struggles.
Additionally
, some
children
resort to theft or drug abuse either at school or in their communities, often seeking attention from neglectful parents who prioritize work over their
children
's needs.
However
, it
is
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apply
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argued by myself and others that
poverty
and social issues cannot excuse criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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if individuals possess strong morals. Even when born into disadvantaged environments, some individuals refrain from criminal acts
due to
their inherent sense of right and wrong.
Conversely
, there are cases of affluent
children
engaging in illicit activities despite having access to resources and a nurturing family environment.
Therefore
, personal morals play a more significant role than external factors
such
as
poverty
or family circumstances. In conclusion,
while
societal factors like
poverty
and family issues may influence criminal
behavior
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behaviour
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to some extent, the ultimate determinant remains an individual's moral compass.
Submitted by baby11mystar on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, focus on improving transitions between your paragraphs. This will make the flow of ideas smoother, allowing the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.
task achievement
Expand on the examples you provided by including more details and explaining how they directly support your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Consider balancing the discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. It allows the reader to understand the complexity of the issue and demonstrates your ability to critique various perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion were well-defined, clearly presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the central arguments.
logical structure
You provided a logical structure within your essay, which helped in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your personal opinion was clearly articulated, enriching the discussion with a distinct perspective.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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