Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #crimes #circumstances #poverty #nature

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The global economic downturn has led to an uptick in crime rates across many nations.

While

some attribute

this

rise to

poverty

and societal issues, others, including myself, contend that criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

stems from individual moral failings. Despite advancements in technology and society, there has been a noticeable decline in moral values among people. Some families, facing economic hardships, may inadvertently encourage their

children

to engage in criminal activities as a means of survival.

For example

, in Australia, bicycle thefts are prevalent

due to

financial struggles.

Additionally

, some

children

resort to theft or drug abuse either at school or in their communities, often seeking attention from neglectful parents who prioritize work over their

children

's needs.

However

, it

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

argued by myself and others that

poverty

and social issues cannot excuse criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

if individuals possess strong morals. Even when born into disadvantaged environments, some individuals refrain from criminal acts

due to

their inherent sense of right and wrong.

Conversely

, there are cases of affluent

children

engaging in illicit activities despite having access to resources and a nurturing family environment.

Therefore

, personal morals play a more significant role than external factors

such

poverty

or family circumstances. In conclusion,

while

societal factors like

poverty

and family issues may influence criminal

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

to some extent, the ultimate determinant remains an individual's moral compass.

Submitted by baby11mystar on Fri Apr 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, focus on improving transitions between your paragraphs. This will make the flow of ideas smoother, allowing the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.

task achievement

Expand on the examples you provided by including more details and explaining how they directly support your thesis. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

task achievement

Consider balancing the discussion of both views before presenting your conclusion. It allows the reader to understand the complexity of the issue and demonstrates your ability to critique various perspectives.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction and conclusion were well-defined, clearly presenting the essay's thesis and summarizing the central arguments.

logical structure

You provided a logical structure within your essay, which helped in presenting your arguments in a coherent manner.

clear comprehensive ideas

Your personal opinion was clearly articulated, enriching the discussion with a distinct perspective.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

221 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

socio-economic circumstances
poverty
lack of education
unemployment
illegal activities
desperation
social issues
exposure to violence
family structures
inherent
personality traits
lack of empathy
aggression
predilection for risk-taking
affluent backgrounds

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Some people think most crimes are the result of circumstances like poverty and other social problems. Others believe that they are caused by people who are bad in nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Your opinion

Some people believe it is better to raise children in the city, while others consider the countryside to be a more suitable choice. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries schools have severe problems with student behaviour. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

Some people think that the environment may be destroyed because of tourism. Others, however, believe that it is a way to preserve nature. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. !

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.  Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. !