You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company's head office. In your letter, - Give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat - explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction - ask about what action will be taken to improve the service You should write atleat 150 words

#train #journey #company #head #office #date #time #dissatisfaction #action #service #atleat

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I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to inform you that I have faced several problems on my recent journey by

train

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from Multan to Lahore. I reserved the two

seats

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which are

seats

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7 and 8 on 22nd July

last

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month. I had to travel early morning 6am from the Multan Cantt station. The purpose of my travel is to attend an Annual Conference In Lahore at 2pm.

Firstly

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, The journey begins with the delay of arrival of the

train

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by half an hour. I embark on

this

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journey with my colleague. when we enter our compartment, there is no seat left for us.

Also

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, many of the passengers are in a queue and waiting for the

seats

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to be free. It was a really embarrassing movement for me.

However

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, I had reserved these

seats

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2 days earlier from departure time.

Secondly

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, when the

train

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master arrived to check the tickets I will suggest you take action on all these matters immediately.

Otherwise

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, these problems can have detrimental effects on the

train

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's reputation. I will suggest two ways to overcome these problems.

First,

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the security of the

train

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should be increased to control limited passengers.

Secondly

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, by arranging a training session for the

train

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masters. I eagerly waiting to look forward to hearing from you. yours truly, ahtsham

Submitted by muhammadahtsham457 on Tue Sep 10 2024

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Task Response

Although you mentioned the delay and seat unavailability, you could elaborate slightly more on how these problems affected your journey and your ability to attend the conference.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter can benefit from clearer, separate paragraphs for each main idea to improve readability.

Task Response

Your tone is formal and suitable for this type of correspondence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your letter has a proper greeting and closing that adds to the overall coherence.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

217 words

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The Greeting

Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing, Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school.

Some people believe that governments should legalize the use of torture in extreme cases, such as terrorism or national security threats. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?