The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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of teenagers
are
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is
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crucial to future
developement
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development
.
However
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, some
suggests
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suggest
show examples
that
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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of adults who are incapable of reading or writing is even more urgent and important. In my point of view, I
am disagreed
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disagree
have disagreed
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with
this
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opinion, and
this
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will be analyzed by elaborating
how
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on how
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does
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apply
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offering
resources
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to adults
aren’t
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isn’t
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solving the problem, and the importance of
education
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during
growing
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growth
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phases.
Firstly
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, the core problem behind these actions are resulting from the insufficient level of
education
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from the
last
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generation
that
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which
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leads
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led
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to the lack of
resources
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in county development in recent years. Yet, the current approaches have lost focus on fixing the core issue. In my opinion, in order to make changes as soon as possible, the
education
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towards grownups should be executed
in
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from
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practical
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a practical
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perspectives
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perspective
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. It should
be
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apply
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aim to help with the uneven allocation of wealth and
resources
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.
For instance
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,
ability
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the ability
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for
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to
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employment
such
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as teaching techniques in some technical fields can help
with
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apply
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increase competitiveness.
Thus
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, the idea comes from great intention,
while
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the actual plan should be modified
for targeting
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to target
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more effective impacts.
Secondly
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, teaching
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
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generation is considered as
first
Correct article usage
the first
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priority
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
solving the issue we mentioned above from the root. Ensuring children
having
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have
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comprehensive
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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and developed
thinkings
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thinking
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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likely to improve the current situation and
therefore
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guarantee the next few decades with
greater
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a greater
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chance of the reallocation of social
resources
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.
To sum up
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, It is suggested that
instead
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of teaching language ability, it is better to offer adults
with
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apply
show examples
more realistic skills that can have immediate changes in terms of financial and social status improvements.
Also
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,
educations
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education
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focused on young people
are aim
Wrong verb form
aims
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to solve
this
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issue from the start and make sure to not repeat the same difficulty.
Submitted by lil40629890 on

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Task Response
Consider strengthening your arguments with more diverse and specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit your essay structure to ensure a clear progression of ideas, making your argumentation more persuasive.
Introduction
Your introduction sets a clear context for the discussion, effectively outlining the debate on prioritizing adult education over youth education.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement, which provides a focused direction for your argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint and reinforces the key arguments made throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • literacy programs
  • functional illiteracy
  • social mobility
  • inter-generational poverty
  • workforce development
  • economic growth
  • social cohesion
  • public health
  • civic participation
  • resource allocation
  • national development
What to do next:
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