The education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However, educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important, and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that
education
of teenagers Correct article usage
the education
are
crucial to future Change the verb form
is
developement
. Correct your spelling
development
However
, some suggests
that Change the verb form
suggest
education
of adults who are incapable of reading or writing is even more urgent and important. In my point of view, I Correct article usage
the education
am disagreed
with Change to the active voice
disagree
have disagreed
this
opinion, and this
will be analyzed by elaborating how
Change preposition
on how
does
offering Unnecessary verb
apply
resources
to adults aren’t
solving the problem, and the importance of Correct subject-verb agreement
isn’t
education
during growing
phases.
Replace the word
growth
Firstly
, the core problem behind these actions are resulting from the insufficient level of education
from the last
generation that
Correct pronoun usage
which
leads
to the lack of Wrong verb form
led
resources
in county development in recent years. Yet, the current approaches have lost focus on fixing the core issue. In my opinion, in order to make changes as soon as possible, the education
towards grownups should be executed in
Change preposition
from
practical
Correct article usage
a practical
perspectives
. It should Fix the agreement mistake
perspective
be
aim to help with the uneven allocation of wealth and Unnecessary verb
apply
resources
. For instance
, ability
Add an article
the ability
for
employment Change preposition
to
such
as teaching techniques in some technical fields can help with
increase competitiveness. Change preposition
apply
Thus
, the idea comes from great intention, while
the actual plan should be modified for targeting
more effective impacts.
Change preposition
to target
Secondly
, teaching younger
generation is considered as Correct article usage
the younger
first
priority Correct article usage
the first
is
solving the issue we mentioned above from the root. Ensuring children Correct your spelling
in
having
comprehensive Wrong verb form
have
knowledges
and developed Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
thinkings
Fix the agreement mistake
thinking
are
likely to improve the current situation and Correct subject-verb agreement
is
therefore
guarantee the next few decades with greater
chance of the reallocation of social Add an article
a greater
resources
.
To sum up
, It is suggested that instead
of teaching language ability, it is better to offer adults with
more realistic skills that can have immediate changes in terms of financial and social status improvements. Change preposition
apply
Also
, educations
focused on young people Fix the agreement mistake
education
are aim
to solve Wrong verb form
aims
this
issue from the start and make sure to not repeat the same difficulty.Submitted by lil40629890 on
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Task Response
Consider strengthening your arguments with more diverse and specific examples to illustrate your points effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance your essay by varying your sentence structure and using a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more vividly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revisit your essay structure to ensure a clear progression of ideas, making your argumentation more persuasive.
Introduction
Your introduction sets a clear context for the discussion, effectively outlining the debate on prioritizing adult education over youth education.
Thesis Statement
You have a clear thesis statement, which provides a focused direction for your argument.
Conclusion
The conclusion succinctly sums up your viewpoint and reinforces the key arguments made throughout the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.